COPYRIGHT: all rights reserved


Original title:


Translation from Croatian by:

Nina Mitrović

Awarded Marin Držić by Croatian Ministry of Culture for the best text, 2009.

Part of LabFest, Theatre 503, London, UK, 2013.








A small flat. Modestly furnished.

Early evening of one day.

One encounter.

And a few remarks:

There are no stage directions. They are not needed. People behave like they always do when they visit someone. They talk, drink, smoke, walk. They look at each other. Or they don't. They get up. They move around. They sit down. And then they get up again. They take their coat off when they enter. They go to the toilet. They look through a window. They do all the usual little things.

The conversation flows without interruptions, without emphasizing important moments, it has its own quick paced rhythm.

Communication isn't possible, it's on the verge of a conflict, but there is no real explosion. There is emotion, but it's buried, it can't find its way to the surface.

The time is condensed. There are no big dramatic pauses. There are only the small ones.

The dash ( - ) signifies a time cut. In between that cut, a tiny part of a second could have passed, but then it could have been a minute also. Maybe someone has even said something. But that doesn't matter. That doesn't exist.

At the beginning it's day. Then the night begins to fall. It's dark outside, inside the lights are turned on. As the time passes these lights dim and towards the end we just see the silhouettes of the two men. Only their faces remain sharp.

Still, in the last scene there is a change. One of the two will go to get something. And when he comes back, the door will remain slightly ajar. And through that door the light reaches them again. Strong light comes to these two men.

Zagreb, 2012.

Scene one


Stanko Did you come alone?

Andrej Yeah, why?

Stanko No reason.

Andrej You thought I'd bring someone?

Stanko No. Nothing like that.

Andrej Who did you expect?

Stanko I didn't expect anyone. I just asked. It doesn't matter. Forget it. All right?

Andrej Right.


Andrej I've never been here.

Stanko Haven't you?

Andrej No.

Stanko Are you sure?

Andrej I would remember.


Andrej Are these all the rooms?

Stanko And what would you want?

Andrej Nothing.

Stanko The flat's cheap. It's good.

Andrej Yeah, it's all ok, it's just's small.

Stanko I told you, it's cheap.

Andrej How much are you paying for it?

Stanko Two hundred.

Andrej Not bad.

Stanko I don't complain. It even has cable TV.

Andrej What do you watch? Porn?

Stanko That's for losers.

Andrej Yeah, you're a fucker. I almost forgot.

Stanko Many women haven't.

Andrej Yeah, I'm sure about that.


Stanko Do you have a flat?

Andrej I do.

Stanko You live alone?

Andrej More or less, yeah.

Stanko That's how it should be. Man isn't made to live with someone. Problems start immediately.

Andrej Is that how it was with you and mum?

Stanko Your mother is a separate story.

Andrej My mother.

Stanko A mistake, if you ask me.

Andrej I'm not.


Stanko Do you remember the house? We used to live in a house. Later on we were in a flat, but before that, we lived in a house. Do you remember?

Andrej I don't remember.

Stanko You were small. We had a yard. You were three years old. Your sister was five. I remember, she used to chase pigeons. She'd attract them with bread crumbs, and then she'd jump all over them, well, not really over them, they fly away quickly, but that's how she used to play. She was cunning, that sister of yours.

Andrej And what about me?

Stanko You?

Andrej What did I do?

Stanko You were small. You didn't do anything.


Stanko Your sister...

Andrej What?

Stanko Nothing.

Andrej Did you think she'd come?

Stanko Well, she could. She doesn't come at all.

Andrej Maybe she doesn't want to.

Stanko I'm her father.

Andrej Yes, you are.

Stanko So why didn't she come then?

Andrej I don't know. I really don't know.

Stanko Yes, you do.

Andrej So do you.

Scene two


Andrej Do you have anything to drink?

Stanko What would you like?

Andrej I don't know. What are you offering?

Stanko There's tea, coffee. No alcohol.

Andrej Do you think we need it?

Stanko No.


Stanko I don't drink, I hope you know that.

Andrej Don't worry, I do.

Stanko I never drank.

Andrej Yeah, I know. You were always great.

Stanko Yeah, I was.

Andrej Of course.

Stanko I never took any drugs. Never.

Andrej I know that.

Stanko But you did.

Andrej Yes, I did. You remember that, don't you?

Stanko I remember everything.


Stanko Do you still take drugs?

Andrej Do you really want to know?

Stanko That's not good for you. It's no good the way you live.

Andrej You don't even know how I live.

Stanko I know everything.

Andrej And how do you know? You haven't seen me in years.

Stanko I know you.

Andrej I don't think so.

Stanko It's not good for you.

Andrej What? What are you talking about? I'm not taking any drugs.

Stanko All right then.


Stanko What will you have?

Andrej I brought myself a beer.

Stanko You drink?

Andrej I drink.

Stanko You'll fuck up your liver.

Andrej I'm all fucked up anyway.


Stanko My father used to drink. He was a loser. I don't like losers. He used to get hammered almost every day.

Andrej Is that why you didn't go to his funeral?

Stanko You're full of questions tonight.

Andrej I haven't seen you for a long time.

Stanko True, you haven't.

Andrej Why didn't you go to that funeral?

Stanko I didn't.

Andrej You never told me why.

Stanko And I never will.

Andrej Why?

Stanko I don't like losers. Didn't you get that yet?

Scene three


Andrej I didn't want to come, you know?

Stanko I didn't call you.

Andrej No, you didn't. Auntie asked me to come. To see you.

Stanko I don't need charity.

Andrej It's not charity. I was passing by.

Stanko Passing by?

Andrej I left my car across the street. To be repaired.

Stanko Repaired.

Andrej Yeah.

Stanko Where did you leave it?

Andrej Just across the street.

Stanko There's nothing there, across the street.

Andrej There's a mechanic.

Stanko There isn't. I should know.

Andrej All right then, there isn't.

Stanko Or maybe there is. I don't know. I don't remember.


Andrej Auntie told me.

Stanko What did she tell you?

Andrej You know.

Stanko Yeah, I know.

Andrej She told me last week.

Stanko That woman talks too much.

Andrej That woman is your sister.

Stanko So what? She still talks way too much.

Andrej Are you afraid?

Stanko Me? No. I don't have fears. Fears are for losers.


Andrej How did you find out?

Stanko I found out.

Andrej How?

Stanko I went to see a doctor.

Andrej Yeah, I got that one.

Stanko Then what's with the question?

Andrej Nothing.

Stanko That's right, nothing.

Andrej All right. It doesn't matter, just forget about it.

Stanko I already have.


Andrej What did they tell you?

Stanko Who?

Andrej The doctors.

Stanko Nothing. What would they tell me? They never say anything.

Andrej They must've told you something.

Stanko That I'm fucked.


Andrej Has it started already?

Stanko I don't know. Dates are fucking with my brain. I don't remember dates. And some numbers. Fucking numbers. Phone numbers. I don't know any of them.

Andrej Neither do I.

Stanko But I used to know them. I knew them all. I had perfect memory.

Andrej You were all perfect.

Stanko I know. And now I'm forgetting.

Scene four


Andrej Do you remember Lucy?

Stanko No.

Andrej How come you don't? We were together for five years. Almost six.

Stanko I don't remember.

Andrej She came to our flat. Loads of times.

Stanko Did she?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko Maybe I do remember. Was she blonde?

Andrej Ginger.

Stanko I don't like them ginger. Ginger ones are freckled.

Andrej I loved her.

Stanko I loved many women.

Andrej I really loved her.


Andrej I ran into her. Just the other day. Actually, I didn't run into her, I just saw her, in a bank. She was in a line. I saw her from behind. I recognized her right away. Right away. I just took that number, you know, the number they give you for a line... Hundred and eight. That was my number.

Stanko Cut to the point.

Andrej Cut to the point. How many times have I heard you say that?

Stanko And you never did cut to the point. You just love to talk.

Andrej I didn't talk to Lucy. I went out. I just left. I don't know why. It doesn't matter. It was long time ago. We were kids. It wasn't a real love. I mean, it was to me, but maybe it wasn't to her. I don't know.


Andrej I remember, one time, you drove us for a French lesson. Lucy and me, we were in the same group. And you drove us. She sat behind, I sat next to you.

Stanko I don't remember.

Andrej You will. You asked me: ''Do you fuck?'' That's what you asked me. And Lucy was sitting behind. I was embarrassed, I wanted to vanish. I didn't vanish. And you said one more thing: ''You should fuck. When will you, if not now''. And you laughed.

Stanko I don't remember.

Andrej Pity.

Stanko I don't even remember that Lucy of yours.

Andrej I remember.

Stanko I don't like them freckled.

Andrej I don't like them either any more.

Scene five


Andrej I was never good enough for you.

Stanko You could've been better, that's true.

Andrej A bum, that's how you used to call me.

Stanko I remember.

Andrej Oh, you remember that?

Stanko A bum.

Andrej You shouldn't have called me that. That's not right, you know?

Stanko I wanted you to toughen up. To be a man.

Andrej Like you?

Stanko I'm strong.

Andrej And me?

Stanko You?

Andrej Yes, what am I like?

Stanko You know yourself what you're like. You don't need me to tell you that.

Andrej Yeah, I know. A bum.


Stanko Your mother was always saving you. I was against it. She didn't do well. But I couldn't do anything. She was always saving you. That's why you're like that now.

Andrej Like what?

Stanko I remember, they called us from the school, to come right away.Your mother went, I didn't. No way, you don't pull my strings. You can pull hers. So she went. How embarrassed she was. Do you know what you did?

Andrej I know.

Stanko You pissed. You pissed in the school. All over the hallway.

Andrej No, I didn't.

Stanko Yes you did, I remember.

Andrej I pissed in the canteen.

Stanko Whatever.

Andrej Whatever.

Stanko Why did you do it?

Andrej I don't know.

Stanko Of course you don't know, why would you know?

Andrej I wanted you to notice me. That's why I did it.


Stanko You've always managed to fuck up. There was never any peace with you. Your sister...she was nice.

Andrej Yes, she was nice.

Stanko And you, always a fuck up. Once you drew on a man's car. A brand new car. You took some nail and you drew all over it. And do you know who paid for that?

Andrej Mum.

Stanko Damn right. Don't expect me to do it. No way you can pull my strings.

Andrej No, no way.

Stanko No, there's no fucking around with me.


Stanko I've never beaten you up. Never. Neither you nor your sister.

Andrej I'd rather you did.

Stanko Maybe I should've beaten you.

Andrej You insulted us.

Stanko I raised you.

Andrej You insulted me. That's why I'm like I am today.

Stanko Like what?

Andrej Fucked up.

Stanko That's not my fault. Your mother's to blame. She gave you everything. She fucked you up. Not me.

Andrej Still, I'd rather if you did beat me up.

Stanko You say that now.

Andrej Yes.

Stanko Now you say that...

Scene six


Andrej I'm insecure.

Stanko I'm not.

Andrej I have fears.

Stanko What kind of fears?

Andrej All kinds. I'm afraid of death.

Stanko I'm not.

Andrej I don't believe you.

Stanko Only losers are afraid.

Andrej I'm afraid you'll die.

Stanko Me?

Andrej Yes, you. I'm afraid you'll die.

Stanko We all will.

Andrej I'm afraid you'll die and you won't be here anymore and I won't be able to tell you all I wanted to. I won't be able to explain to you what you did to me.

Stanko It was all for your own good.


Andrej I've never been in the army.

Stanko Neither have I.

Andrej I wanted to.

Stanko What for? So that some idiot can tell you what to do, so that he decides everything for you. You don't need that.

Andrej But you were like that.

Stanko For your own good.

Andrej I wanted to go to the army.

Stanko Why? To be a hero?

Andrej No, to run away from you and mum.


Andrej I didn't pass the test. Psychology test. They said I had suppressed aggression.

Stanko Well, I've known that for a long time. You didn't even need to go for the test. They could've asked me. I would've told them.


Andrej I have an inferiority complex. That's why I can't finish anything. Everything I start, I leave right away. It's simple, right from the start, I don't believe I'll succeed.

Stanko Don't tell me I'm to blame for that as well?

Andrej I wish I wasn't like that.

Stanko Only losers give up.

Andrej Well, didn't you get it yet?

Stanko What?

Andrej I am a loser. You made your own son a loser.

Stanko I know. I fucked it up.


Stanko You liked to draw.

Andrej I don't remember.

Stanko You used to draw all the time.

Andrej I told you, I don't remember.

Stanko And you were good at it, really good. Until you gave up. Then you played tennis for a little while.

Andrej I remember that.

Stanko Your mum bought you a racket. I was against it. Do you know why?

Andrej No. But you'll tell me.

Stanko I'll tell you. Because I knew you'd give up. You always give up.

Andrej I know.

Stanko And you used to draw good, real good.

Andrej And I gave up so what's the point?

Scene seven


Stanko That sister of yours...she pulled a knife on me once, did you know that?

Andrej Yeah, I know.

Stanko She sure did. She had balls. You know that...

Andrej Yeah, I know.

Stanko You can't fuck around with her.

Andrej She's like you.

Stanko She sure is.


Andrej She goes to a psychiatrist.

Stanko Who?

Andrej Tanya.

Stanko You sister goes to a psychiatrist?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko Why does she go there? She doesn't need that.

Andrej She says she does.

Stanko Nonsense.

Andrej She even got some pills.

Stanko What for?

Andrej She's depressed.

Stanko We're all sad sometimes.

Andrej No, she's not sad, she's depressed.

Stanko Why? What does she lack? She has everything.

Andrej She says she doesn't love herself.

Stanko She has too much time, that's why she goes there.

Andrej She says she's insecure.

Stanko She's not. She's strong.

Andrej Then why does she go to the psychiatrist?


Andrej When was the last time you saw her?

Stanko I saw her.

Andrej She says she hasn't seen you for a month.

Stanko I'm a busy man.

Andrej She says you called her.

Stanko Well, yeah, we talk.

Andrej She says she doesn't answer your calls.

Stanko Why wouldn't she?

Andrej I don't know why. That's what she says.


Andrej Do you remember when you smeared pate all over her face?

Stanko No.

Andrej Neither do I. But she remembers.

Stanko She got something wrong.

Andrej She says she told you something, she doesn't know what, she doesn't remember what, and we were all at the table, all of us, I was there and mum, and the two of you, and she told you something and you took a slice of bread from her plate, the slice that had pate on it, and you just smeared it all over face.


Stanko Do you talk to her?

Andrej I saw her yesterday.

Stanko Yesterday?

Andrej Yeah. She looks good. She has circles around her eyes but that's because she doesn't sleep.

Stanko She doesn't sleep?

Andrej No. She says she can't sleep. Her heart beats fast, she has a feeling she'll die.

Stanko What is she talking about? She's only twenty.

Andrej Thirty.

Stanko Whatever, she's young, she won't die.

Andrej They're panic attacks.

Stanko What attacks?

Andrej Panic attacks.

Stanko I don't have that.

Andrej She has.

Stanko And what, don't tell me I'm to blame for that as well?


Andrej She's thinking of going to live on the coast.

Stanko Coast?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko What is she gonna do there?

Andrej I don't know. She says she needs peace.

Stanko Peace?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko There is no peace. Nowhere.

Andrej There isn't. I know.


Andrej Did you tell her?

Stanko What?

Andrej Well about that...That you're not well.

Stanko No need to.

Andrej You should tell her.

Stanko I'm not going to inform anyone. Who wants to know, they'll find out.

Andrej Maybe you should tell her.

Stanko Why? So that she can feel sorry for me?

Andrej No.

Stanko Why then?

Andrej I don't know. So she can come here.

Stanko I don't need anyone.

Andrej If you want, I can tell her.

Stanko Don't you do anything. I don't need any favours.

Andrej It's not a favour.

Stanko What did I tell you?

Andrej All right, just forget that I even mentioned it...

Stanko I'll decide whom I'll tell and when. Do you understand that?

Andrej I understand.

Stanko That's my thing.

Andrej All right, I got it.

Stanko I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.

Andrej No one is feeling sorry for you.

Stanko Don't you dare feel sorry for me. Don't you dare. Do you hear me?

Andrej Yes. I hear you.

Stanko All right then. All right.

Scene eight


Andrej I wanted to be a writer.

Stanko A writer?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko But you can hardly sign your own name.

Andrej You're not right.

Stanko You always held the pencil in the wrong way.

Andrej I don't hold it like that anymore.

Stanko You used to hold it like it was a shovel. That's how you'd hold it. We tried to fix that, but you just didn't give in.

Andrej I don't hold it like that anymore.

Stanko You just didn't give in...

Andrej You're not even listening to me...

Stanko I listen.

Andrej My handwriting is good.

Stanko So what, like that's some big deal?

Andrej It is to me.

Stanko All right then, if it is to you.

Andrej It is.

Stanko All right then.


Stanko A writer, you say...

Andrej Yes.

Stanko But you're not a writer.

Andrej I know, but that's what I wanted to be.

Stanko You haven't written anything in your whole life.

Andrej I didn't. I know.

Stanko Then, what are you talking about?

Andrej I wanted to write. That's what I'm talking about.

Stanko And what would you write about?

Andrej I don't know. About you, maybe.

Stanko Well all right, that's not such a bad subject.

Andrej About everything you did to us.

Stanko You're starting again...

Andrej I'm just saying.

Stanko You're starting...


Stanko You used to draw. You didn't write.

Andrej So what, it doesn't matter.

Stanko And you used to draw well. Only you didn"t write.

Andrej Doesn't matter. I have some other job now.

Stanko So you work?

Andrej I work.

Stanko You should work. I used to work all the time. I did all sorts of things. Different jobs. Those kinds of jobs you'd never accept. But I did. And I didn't find it hard. Oh no, I didn't...

Andrej I remember, we were poor.

Stanko So what? That's not a disgrace.

Andrej I never said it was.

Stanko I did all sorts of things. All sorts.


Stanko Where do you work?

Andrej In a DVD store. It's called "The Palm". Stupid name, isn't it? I mean, for a DVD store.

Stanko You work in a DVD store...

Andrej Yeah. And you know what, I was lucky, it's right where I live, you know, right there in the building next to mine. I just come down, I don't even need to start the car.

Stanko So what do you do there?

Andrej Well, you know what's done there, don't you?

Stanko I know, I just don't understand...

Andrej What don't you understand?

Stanko I don't understand anything.

Andrej It's simple. People come, they get a movie and leave. There isn't much philosophy there.

Stanko You're too old for a job like that.

Andrej Oh really?

Stanko Yes.

Andrej Why's that?

Stanko That's a job for a student.

Andrej Suits me. No stress. No one fucks around with me. And I even get to watch the films. So, if you actually think about it, that's not a bad job at all.

Stanko No, it's not.

Andrej You see.

Stanko For a student.

Andrej Suits me.

Stanko Well all right, it's your thing, I won't get into it. I never got into it. I let you and your sister live the best way you know. You're grown ups. You probably know how you should live.

Andrej We don't, but it doesn't matter.

Scene nine


Andrej When does a man grow up?

Stanko Some never do.

Andrej I think I'm one of them.

Stanko Yes, you are.

Andrej I don't know if I like that.

Stanko There's nothing I can do about it.


Andrej Did you grow up?

Stanko Of course.

Andrej How do you know?

Stanko I know. I grew up when I was ten years old. Already then I was a man.

Andrej I don't think that's true.

Stanko You don't have a clue.

Andrej I know some things.

Stanko Yeah well, when I was ten I used to bring breakfast to my father.

Andrej I know that.

Stanko Ten years old. I brought him breakfast. Every morning I would bring him breakfast.

Andrej Yes, I've heard that story already.

Stanko So what?

Andrej Nothing.


Stanko He worked on a construction site. He'd start at five. And I was already there at seven. At seven. Before school I was there. I'd bring him breakfast.

Andrej Yeah.

Stanko One half of bread, piece of cheese and two bottles of milk. All by myself. And I wasn't even ten years old. Not even ten.

Andrej Yes, I know.

Stanko Where were you at the age of ten?

Andrej I don't know where I was.

Stanko You don't?

Andrej No. Honestly, I don't even know where I am now.

Stanko Well, I knew. I knew then and I know now. I know everything.

Andrej You know.

Stanko I know.


Andrej I think you're still a child.

Stanko Me?

Andrej Yes, you. That's why you act like that.

Stanko And how do I act? Please, tell me.

Andrej Like that. Nothing can be said to you.

Stanko Is that so?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko You know what?

Andrej What?

Stanko You don't have a clue.


Stanko You finished University.

Andrej Yes, I did.

Stanko You graduated.

Andrej Yes...

Stanko All right, you dragged it on a bit, how long did you study?

Andrej I don't have a clue.

Stanko No, you don't. Of course, you weren't the one who paid for it.

Andrej Neither did you.

Stanko Oh really?

Andrej And what, you did?

Stanko Well, who did, don't tell me your mother paid?

Andrej I studied for free.

Stanko That's what you think.

Andrej Well I did.

Stanko And what about food? Flat? All that costs.

Andrej Well, I lived at home.

Stanko Under my roof...What's funny?

Andrej Nothing.

Stanko Are you laughing at me?

Andrej I'm not laughing.

Stanko You'll never be a man.


Stanko Economics. That's a proper degree.

Andrej It's not for me.

Stanko Looks like it isn't.

Andrej Well it's not, I know it.

Stanko Yes... That's why you work in a DVD store.

Andrej Does it bother you?

Stanko Me? No. Why would it bother me?

Andrej I think it bothers you.

Stanko What do I care. It's your thing. Do whatever you want, what do I care.

Andrej You'd rather I was successful.

Stanko It's all the same to me.

Andrej But I'm not. I'm not successful. And I never will be. What do you say about that?

Stanko Nothing.

Andrej I'll never be a man.

Stanko What do I care...

Scene ten


Andrej Do you have anyone now?

Stanko Is that some accusation again?

Andrej No. That's a question.

Stanko Yes, I have.

Andrej Something serious?

Stanko Serious? What do you think life is, a tragedy?

Andrej It was just a question.

Stanko I've no intention of getting married if that's what you want to know.

Andrej I don't want to know that.

Stanko It won't happen.

Andrej Ok. I didn't even say you should.

Stanko Your mother was enough for my whole life.

Andrej You're again going on about mum, huh?

Stanko And what do you want me to go on about?

Andrej I don't know, I really don't know.


Andrej Why didn't you get divorced?

Stanko I don't know. We didn't.

Andrej I know, it's just, I don't get it, if it was so bad for both of you...Why didn't you leave?

Stanko I didn't. I should've. I see that now. But I didn't.

Andrej That wasn't fair, you know.

Stanko What are you talking about?

Andrej That wasn't fair to us. We would've been happier if you had gotten divorced.

Stanko We didn't divorce and what do you want now? We can't get divorced now, isn't that right?

Andrej That's right, yes.

Stanko So, why are we talking about something that doesn't exist anymore? It doesn't. It's over.

Andrej Yes, it's over.


Andrej Do you miss her?

Stanko No. Why would I miss her.

Andrej I miss her.

Stanko Good. That's normal. She was your mother.

Andrej come you always do everything like...

Stanko What?

Andrej I don't know. Everything is so rational with you. No feelings.

Stanko Don't tell me you're expecting me to cry now? Is that what you expect?

Andrej No.

Stanko Good. Just so that you know, that won't happen.


Andrej You'll never change.

Stanko Man doesn't change.

Andrej I've waited for that all the time.

Stanko What, what were you waiting for?

Andrej For you to change. To be different.

Stanko And what should I be like? Tell me please.

Andrej I don't know.

Stanko You don't, huh?

Andrej I know. Normal.

Stanko Normal?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko And what is normal?

Andrej I don't know. But other people are normal.

Stanko On the outside. Only on the outside. On the inside, they're all the same. Fucked up. Trust me, they're all the same.


Andrej That woman that you're with now...

Stanko What do you want to know?

Andrej Well, I don't know...what is she like?

Stanko Nice. Real nice.

Andrej That's good.

Stanko Married.

Andrej Well ok...

Stanko To a moron.


Andrej Does she love you?

Stanko Of course she loves me. Why wouldn't she love me?

Andrej And do you love her?

Stanko Me?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko Who knows... I guess I love her.

Andrej And that doesn't bother you that she has a husband?

Stanko No. That's the thing I like about her.

Andrej It would bother me.

Stanko Well, what can I say? You know fuck all about women.

Scene eleven


Andrej She works at the hospital. My girlfriend. At St. George's.

Stanko St. George's. It's a bit far out.

Andrej Yeah, it is.

Stanko What does she do?

Andrej She's a nurse.

Stanko So she's not a doctor.

Andrej No.

Stanko Well all right, at least she has a uniform.

Andrej That's not why I'm with her.

Stanko I know. It was just a joke.

Andrej I don't like your jokes.


Stanko A nurse.

Andrej Yes.

Stanko Where did you find her?

Andrej At the hospital.

Stanko Since when do you work at the hospital?

Andrej I don't work at the hospital. You know that.

Stanko I don't know anything about you.


Andrej I had some kind of an accident.

Stanko You got into a fight.

Andrej I did.

Stanko You'd always get into a fight.

Andrej They attacked me.

Stanko How come they always attack you?

Andrej I don't know.

Stanko I know. You provoke.

Andrej I wasn't provoking.

Stanko You always provoke.


Andrej I waited for three hours for my turn. I already felt sick. My head was splitting. Really splitting. I thought it would fall off. Next to me were some guy and some woman, both bloody. That ER, there're all sorts of things there...

Stanko Cut to the point.

Andrej Let me talk.

Stanko Well talk...

Andrej It doesn't really matter.

Stanko All right, all right, come on, what happened?

Andrej Nothing.

Stanko Come on, you waited for three hours and...

Andrej Nothing. They took me in.

Stanko Of course they took you in... All right, go on.

Andrej The doctor just looked at me, said there was nothing wrong with me and then she came.

Stanko The nurse.

Andrej Yes. Her hands...The hands she has. Strange hands. Small, gentle... She stitched my head. Seven stitches. I was sorry that I didn't need more of them. I wanted her to stitch my head all night long.


Andrej She's not that old. She's twenty two.

Stanko She's young.

Andrej I know. It worries me.

Stanko What is it that worries you, that she'll find someone younger?

Andrej No.

Stanko That's what worries you, I know it. You're afraid she'll get bored of you.

Andrej It's not that.

Stanko I've never had those kind of problems. Women were running after me. And they still do. Women adore me.

Andrej Yeah, I know, you're great.

Stanko I am, yes, and?

Andrej Nothing.


Andrej I don't know why, but I'm not attracted to women of my age, I'm just not.

Stanko Neither am I. No way I'll be attracted to them. The young ones are much better. The young ones are the best.

Andrej They should attract me.

Stanko Don't complicate. Life is simple. Do you like that one? Huh?

Andrej I like her.

Stanko So where's the problem?

Andrej She's too young.

Stanko Is she a minor?

Andrej No.

Stanko Well, there's no problem then.


Andrej I cheat on her. I cheat whenever I can. At the beginning I didn't, but then I started and so... I didn't stop. And I should.

Stanko Why should you?

Andrej If I cheat on her, then I don't love her.

Stanko That has nothing to do with it. Sex is sex. If you feel like fucking, you fuck. If you don't, you do something else. It's all simple. Very simple. Life is simple. I've already told you that.

Andrej Yes, you have.

Stanko So, why do you complicate again?

Andrej I don't complicate.

Stanko You complicate, you complicate.

Andrej All right, then I complicate.

Stanko Yeah I know it. That's the way you are. You were always like that.

Andrej And you, what are you like?

Stanko Me? I'm a fucker.


Andrej Just then, when I was coming here, there in the street, I saw a girl. Well, she wasn't even a girl, a kid. She asked me if I had a cigarette. I gave it to her. She asked me for a light. I got out a lighter. I didn't give it to her. I lit her cigarette. So she had to come a bit closer. And lean. And so I saw her tits.

Stanko I used to do that.

Andrej She's fifteen. Maybe not even that old...

Stanko What do you care, tits are tits.

Andrej It's not good.

Stanko Well why did you look at them then?

Andrej I don't know, something just pulls me. I don't know what. They're getting younger, those that I look at. And they should be older.

Stanko Then go and look at hags.

Andrej You don't understand me.

Stanko No.

Andrej No. You don't understand me at all.


Andrej I'm afraid, if I go on like this, I'll turn into a paedophile.

Stanko There you go again.

Andrej I'm just saying...

Stanko Don't. You're boring.

Scene twelve


Andrej We live together.

Stanko Don't you live alone?

Andrej No. She moved in recently. It's killing me.

Stanko Of course.

Andrej She's all the time somewhere around me, close to me, I don't have space. I have no air. She's suffocating me.

Stanko Sounds like your mother.

Andrej She's not like mum at all.

Stanko Are you sure?

Andrej I'm not.


Andrej She loves me.

Stanko That's how it should be.

Andrej And she takes care of me. That bothers me.

Stanko Don't complicate.

Andrej I always find these women that take care of me.

Stanko You're looking for a mother.

Andrej What do you know about that?

Stanko I know everything.

Andrej Everything?

Stanko Everything. Yes. Just ask. Whatever you want to know.

Andrej There's nothing I want to know.

Stanko Well, fuck it then...


Stanko Maybe you should give me her number.

Andrej What for?

Stanko I'll need it.

Andrej She's not your type.

Stanko I'll need a nurse. Where I'm going, I'll need one there.

Andrej Not yet.

Stanko It will come quickly.


Stanko I bet you can't wait.

Andrej Not true.

Stanko I know you.

Andrej You don't really know me.


Stanko Why can't you admit it? You can hardly wait for it.

Andrej Not true.

Stanko You don't have the balls. If you did, you would've admitted it.

Andrej I don't have anything to admit.

Stanko You're weak.

Andrej Fucking true, we can't all be great like you.

Stanko You said it well.


Andrej I can bring her over. If you want me to. Next time I come.

Stanko When you come.

Andrej If I come.


Andrej So, what do you say?

Stanko I don't want you to bring me anyone.

Andrej She's a nurse, she understands these things.

Stanko She's not a doctor.

Andrej Doesn't matter, she understands these things, she could talk to you.

Stanko I'm not talking to her.

Andrej She can help you to get ready.

Stanko I don't need anyone's help.

Andrej Suit yourself.

Stanko I don't want you to bring anyone. This is my flat. Not yours. I don't want anyone here. Is that clear?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko She has no right to come here. Touch my things.

Andrej She won't touch anything.

Stanko Whatever.

Andrej All right, she won't come.

Stanko All right.

Scene thirteen


Stanko Do you hear?

Andrej What?

Stanko Listen.


Stanko They go on like that every night.

Andrej Who?

Stanko How do I know who. Some people upstairs.

Andrej Do you know them?

Stanko No. I don't talk to neighbours. I never did that.

Andrej No, you didn't.

Stanko You say ''Good afternoon'' to them and right away they want to get into your flat. Well no, that won't pass with me. It never did and it never will.

Andrej I just asked if you knew them.

Stanko I told you, I don't like them meddling with my life.


Stanko I have to say, he's banging her good. Real good. I was like that. I was a fucker. And I still am.

Andrej A fucker, huh?

Stanko I have to say, yes. I had loads of women.

Andrej Yes, I know that.

Stanko Not that I brag. But if you want, I'll give you the numbers, call them and ask, ask them what was I like.

Andrej I'm not calling them.

Stanko They'll tell you what I was like.

Andrej I know, you were a fucker.

Stanko Damn right...


Andrej Christine was her name.

Stanko Christine.

Andrej What, you don't remember?

Stanko I don't know. There was a lot of them.

Andrej I remember Christine. I remember her well.

Stanko Christine you say?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko Christine. Who knows, maybe there was some Christine.


Andrej I remember, I was five, six years old. Mum took me with her. She promised me some toy, some horse, I wanted some doesn't matter. She took me with her. We came to the shop. Only, there weren't any toys. It was a shop with some other things. And there she was, that Christine. Your Christine.

Stanko Christine.

Andrej And mum talked to her. I thought they were friends. They were talking. And I wanted the horse. And then mum started to cry. Christine was telling her something, I don't know what, she was speaking quietly, mum didn't say anything, she just cried. And I was walking around the shop looking for the horse.

Stanko And?

Andrej What?

Stanko Did you get the horse?

Andrej I don't know. I don't remember.


Stanko Christine you say?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko Blonde?

Andrej No.

Stanko She wasn't blonde?

Andrej No. I think she had brown hair. Something like that...I'm not sure. But in any case, her hair was dark...

Stanko Well, I don't know then.

Andrej Funny. I remember. And you were the one who was with her.

Stanko There were many of them. Many.


Andrej I think it was some shop with colours. Water colours. You know, those things for painting.

Stanko For painting?

Andrej Yes.

Stanko Then that wasn't Christine.

Andrej It was.

Stanko No. That was Sylvie.

Andrej Sylvie?

Stanko Yes. She'd always give me those things for painting. Brushes, colours, all sorts of things. She gave me everything.

Andrej And you gave them to me.

Stanko I guess so.

Andrej And I always thought you bought them for me.

Stanko Does it matter?

Andrej No.

Stanko Of course. What matters is that you got them. Now, did I pay for them or not, doesn't matter. Right?

Andrej Right.


Andrej Why did you do that?

Stanko Why? I don't know why. That's how I felt.

Andrej Mum suffered.

Stanko Your mum always suffered. That's her hereditary line. Her mum suffered as well. That's the Catholic story. Everyone suffers and complains to God. Well, I'm not falling for that.

Andrej You cheated on her.

Stanko Cheated...

Andrej Yes.

Stanko I didn't cheat on anyone. She knew it all.

Andrej And I knew it. And I shouldn't have known.

Stanko Maybe.

Andrej For sure. I shouldn't have...

Stanko Well, it's done now.

Andrej Yes, it's done now.


Stanko And the horse?

Andrej What about it?

Stanko Did you get the horse?

Andrej I don't know.

Stanko How come you don't know?

Andrej Just like that, I don't know, I don't remember.


Stanko You wanted that horse.

Andrej I wanted it, yes.

Stanko You really wanted that horse. You nagged for it like crazy.

Andrej I was a child. Children want loads of things.

Stanko A little wooden horse. You talked about that little wooden horse all the time. You didn't leave us alone. Horse, horse, horse. All the time.

Andrej I don't remember.

Stanko You don't remember the horse?

Andrej No.

Stanko How come you don't?

Andrej Just like that, I don't remember. And what does that horse matter now?

Stanko It does.

Andrej All right...

Stanko I bought you the horse. For your birthday. You were happy when you got it. You were so happy. You pushed it around everywhere, you even went to pee with it. There's no place where you didn't go with it...

Andrej I don't remember the horse. I told you already.


Stanko Do you remember now?

Andrej I remember, yes.

Stanko Now you remember, huh?

Andrej Will you give it to me?

Stanko No.

Andrej You're not going to give it to me?

Stanko I'll need it.

Andrej What for?

Stanko I don't know. I'll need it. To remind me that it wasn't all pointless...


Stanko Well, he sure is fucking her good...real good.

Scene fourteen


Andrej They've stopped.

Stanko Yes. It was about time. How long was he banging her for...

Andrej Who knows what they're doing now...

Stanko Nothing, what would they be doing?

Andrej Talking. They must be talking.

Stanko It doesn't have to be. Do you talk after fucking?

Andrej Sometimes.

Stanko You talk...

Andrej I don't talk as much as I should.

Stanko What's there to talk about?

Andrej There is. But I'm not really good at it. I don't know what to say. I mean, I know. But what I'd like to talk about, it's better if no one hears it.

Stanko Well, that's why there's no need to talk.


Andrej She talks much more than I do. Yelena. She talks much more than me.

Stanko Women talk, men work.

Andrej She says things.

Stanko And, what does she say?

Andrej I can't tell you that.

Stanko Why?

Andrej I just can't. It's her own thing.

Stanko All right then...


Andrej It shouldn't be like that. I should tell her what I think about, what I'm feeling, but I can't... Sometimes I tell her, some things, little things, from childhood, but I don't tell her everything, because, I don't know, as soon as I start talking, I have to stop right away. I feel guilt, when I tell her what you two were like, especially you, the way you were to me, I immediately feel bad, like I'm betraying you. Like I'm doing something against you.

Stanko What would you be doing? You're not doing anything.

Andrej I know. But that's the feeling I have.

Stanko You're complicating again.


Andrej I wanted to tell her how you made me throw out the rubbish.

Stanko You never listened.

Andrej I wanted to tell her how that one time you told me to throw out the rubbish. And I didn't.

Stanko Of course.

Andrej I didn't throw it right away. And you came to my room, I was sitting on the floor, playing with my toy cars, I was alone in the room and you just walked in and you calmly scattered that rubbish all over the room. You scattered the rubbish. And I just sat there. I sat surrounded by rubbish. I didn't do anything, I didn't collect it, didn't touch it, I was telling myself this has nothing to do with me. And I went on playing. I was trying to play. Just to switch myself off. So that I'm not there. So that I don't see that rubbish. So that I don't feel how it stinks. Everywhere around me. And then mum came, I don't know how much time had passed, but I know she came and she collected that rubbish.

Stanko Of course.

Andrej And I still kept on playing.

Stanko Of course.

Andrej No. That's not something to say of course to. That's not normal. And that's what I wanted to tell Yelena, but I didn't. And I wanted to tell this to the others, to all the women I was with, but I thought, if I tell them that, they won't want me any more. They won't look at me in the way they did, not any more. I'll be pathetic to them and they'll feel sorry for me. And that's why I didn't tell them.

Stanko No need to tell them...

Andrej And that's not the only reason. I also felt, if I tell them, if I tell anyone, it won't be right. It won't be fair to you. Funny. I mean, I was a child, and you were the one who scattered the rubbish. So why am I then still protecting you?


Andrej I was a child. You should've protected me.

Stanko I protected you.

Andrej You didn't.

Stanko I did.

Andrej Doesn't matter.


Andrej Children can't do anything. Children can't take a suitcase, pack it and go to the hotel. Children can't do that. They have to stay and suffer. I suffered.

Stanko What did you suffer from?

Andrej Fears.

Stanko What fears?

Andrej All kinds.

Stanko You exaggerate.

Andrej If only I did exaggerate.


Andrej You never told me you were sorry.

Stanko Sorry for what? For trying to make a man out of you?

Andrej You sound like you don't know what you were like.

Stanko And what do you think, that it's easy to be a father? Is that what you think?

Andrej I don't think that.

Stanko Do you think it's a piece of piss, that anyone can do it?

Andrej No.

Stanko Then what are you talking about?


Andrej She's pregnant. Yelena. My girlfriend.

Stanko Yelena.

Andrej Yes, she's pregnant. She did a test a few days ago so... That's it. We didn't plan it. That's for sure. At first we didn't know what we'll do. We thought about it and so...I don't know, I don't know if I want it, but she doesn't want to go for an abortion. She says, she's not doing it again. I understand her. If she's already done it once...And I'm not a kid any more...


Andrej I'll be a dad. How does that sound to you? Weird to me. It doesn't sound bad, only...I don't know. I'm afraid. What kind of father will I be to someone? How can I be a father? I mean, I can't even take care of myself. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'll fuck it all up. That I won't be good enough. That I'll be like you. And I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Scene fifteen


Stanko Who was that?

Andrej No one.

Stanko Someone called. The phone rang. Who was it?

Andrej No one.

Stanko Tanya called. Why didn't you let me talk to her?

Andrej It wasn't Tanya.

Stanko Yes, it was, she called.

Andrej No.

Stanko She called me.

Andrej She didn't call.

Stanko She did.

Andrej No. They called from some centre for medical research.

Stanko What kind of centre?

Andrej I don't know. Medical. They're doing some survey.

Stanko What kind of survey?

Andrej I don't know. I told them we weren't interested.

Stanko That was Tanya.

Andrej No, it wasn't.

Stanko Doesn't matter. She'll call again. When you leave. She'll call. She has to call. I'm her father. Will she call?

Andrej She'll call.

Stanko Of course she'll call.


Stanko You're talking against me.

Andrej No.

Stanko You're talking to Tanya, aren't you?

Andrej I'm not talking.

Stanko That's why she's not calling me.

Andrej No.

Stanko I know that's the reason she's not calling me. You're conspiring. You're against me. You and your sister. You're conspiring.

Andrej No one's conspiring.

Stanko Like I care.

Andrej You're not listening to me.

Stanko I listen. And just so that you know, you two, you'll be sorry later. Mark my words. You'll be sorry.


Stanko Your mother was like that. All she did was talk against me.

Andrej I don't know why you're not listening to me.

Stanko I listen to you.

Andrej You don't listen. You never did listen to me.

Stanko Neither did you to me. You were spoilt. Stubborn.

Andrej Selfish.

Stanko Yes.

Andrej Yeah, I know that. Don't you worry, I've memorized it all well.


Stanko You were laughing at me. What's that look for? What, you don't know what I'm talking about?

Andrej No.

Stanko Well, I know. You were laughing. You and your sister. At the funeral of your mother, you were laughing at me. We met at the entrance, I started walking with you, and you said: ''Here he is, now we won't be able to get rid of him.'' Don't think I didn't hear. I heard you. That's what you said to her. And you were laughing. Like you weren't normal. I almost turned around and left, I almost did, but I didn't want to make a scene, after all it was a wouldn't be appropriate. But now I'm sorry I didn't leave. I'm sorry.

Andrej I didn't say that. That we won't be able to get rid of you...I didn't say that.

Stanko I heard you.

Andrej It wasn't me. Tanya said it.


Andrej You wanted her to come.

Stanko I didn't want anything.

Andrej You didn't call me.

Stanko I don't call anyone.

Andrej You call Tanya.


Andrej I never mattered much to you.

Stanko That's nonsense.

Andrej It isn't nonsense. She was always more important to you. You loved her more. It was like I didn't even exist.

Stanko You were stubborn. It was impossible to talk to you.

Andrej You never tried. Maybe if you tried...

Stanko You were stubborn.

Andrej And you don't ask yourself why was I like that?

Stanko That's your personality.

Andrej All right then.


Stanko Should I call her?

Andrej Call her.

Stanko I don't know the number.

Andrej Did you forget?

Stanko I told you, I don't know the numbers.

Andrej I'll give you the number.

Stanko Yes...

Andrej Do you want me to? To give it to you?

Stanko Later.

Andrej Whatever suits you.

Stanko I'll call her later. When you leave.

Scene sixteen


Andrej Do you go to the cemetery?

Stanko I don't like cemeteries.

Andrej I don't go neither. I should, but I don't.

Stanko What's there for you?

Andrej Mum is there.


Andrej You hate her.

Stanko No. I don't hate anyone.

Andrej But you did hate her.

Stanko She was sucking me dry.

Andrej And she loved you.

Stanko She didn't respect me.

Andrej She loved you.

Stanko Fine, what do you want from me?

Andrej Nothing. We're just talking.

Stanko I don't like the way you talk.


Andrej She wanted you to come. She called for you.

Stanko I don't like hospitals.

Andrej I know, but still, you could've done that for her.

Stanko I told you, I don't like hospitals.

Andrej We were there. Tanya and me. And you know what, she talked only about you. How everything was great when we were small. How you loved each other. How happy you were. You and her. It was like we didn't even exist. Like you never had children.


Andrej Towards the end she couldn't even speak any more. She would only open her eyes from time to time. She didn't even have thirty kilos, those last days. They put some tubes in her, that's how they fed her, she was all in those tubes, she couldn't even breath without them. Only those eyes, she watched us with those eyes of hers, her eyes were small and sad, I saw her suffer. She suffered at the end, she suffered a lot and there wasn't a thing that could be done about it. Not a thing.


Andrej You'll end up alone. Are you aware of that? Maybe not, but that's what's gonna happen. And what will you do then?

Stanko I'm fine by myself.

Andrej I don't believe you.

Stanko What do I care.

Andrej You'll die alone like mum did.

Stanko What are you talking about?

Andrej I'm talking.

Stanko Your mother wasn't alone. You were there. You and Tanya.

Andrej Not that one was there. She was alone when she died. Alone.


Andrej She died because of you.

Stanko She died of cancer.

Andrej Yes. And she got that cancer because of you. Don't think she didn't...


Andrej I don't understand why she didn't leave you.

Stanko She didn't.

Andrej She never cheated on you. And she was a pretty woman. Men liked her. But what use was that, she held onto you like you were some god.

Stanko Just let it go.


Andrej I hated her. I know it's not good to say that, but what can I do... I hated her. I hated her for living the way she did. What kind of life is that? All she did was cry. And say how unhappy she was. And how it would be for the best if she was gone. And then she died.


Stanko You didn't hate her.

Andrej I wish I didn't.

Stanko You didn't.

Andrej Yeah, well, it's all right, it doesn't matter....


Stanko I was there. In the hospital.

Andrej Don't do that, it's pointless...

Stanko I stood in the hallway. She was lying there in a bed, the one in the middle, next to her were some women, old, dying. And she was dying. I couldn't come in. What should I come in for? What should I say to her? Tell me, what should have I done?

Andrej You were really there?

Stanko It doesn't matter. It's all over now anyway.

Andrej Yes, it's all over now.

Scene seventeen


Andrej I don't blame you.

Stanko There's nothing you could blame me for.

Andrej Are you sure?

Stanko I am.

Andrej Fine. If that's what you think...

Stanko I did everything for you. For you and your sister.

Andrej You didn't do well.

Stanko The best I knew. The best. Who would've given you more? I gave you everything. You should know that.

Andrej I don't actually.

Stanko And what should've I done? Come on, tell me, what is it that I didn't do?

Andrej You didn't give me love.


Andrej You weren't good to me. You might not be aware of it, but that's the way it is. You weren't a good father.

Stanko Oh, really?

Andrej You never said you loved me.

Stanko I did.

Andrej You didn't. I'd remember it.


Andrej You can't even say it to me now.

Stanko You're big now.

Andrej I'm still your child. And you can't say it to me. Why?

Stanko You're asking too much from me.

Andrej Yeah...

Stanko Too much.


Andrej Aren't you sorry?

Stanko Sorry for what?

Andrej That it all turned out the way it did.

Stanko It's the way it is, what more do you want from me?

Andrej Nothing. I wanted so much before. But now I see it's pointless.


Andrej After mum died, I wasn't well. I was sad. And lonely. You didn't call me, I didn't call you. Tanya shut herself off, she's that type, she's like you in that way, and me, I stayed alone. I didn't know what to do. I drank a lot then, I was afraid if I didn't drink, it would all come back, all the feelings, all the memories, I was afraid that it was going to be too much for me.


Andrej When auntie called me to tell me that you're not well, at first I didn't feel anything. And then it started. Rage. Anger. Hatred. And in the end sadness. What can I tell you, I'm sad.


Andrej I don't want you to die.

Stanko I know.

Andrej You do?

Stanko Yes, I know. But there's nothing to be done about it. There's nothing that you or me can do. And that's why you shouldn't think about it. You have your own life so live it.

Andrej And what about you?

Stanko Me?

Andrej Yes, you. What will you do?

Stanko Don't you worry about me.


Andrej You don't want me to come again?

Stanko Do what you want.

Andrej But what would you like?

Stanko I told you, do what you want.

Andrej Even if you wanted me to come, you wouldn't tell me. I know you wouldn't. You don't have it in you.


Andrej I don't think you're a bad person. I think you did the best you could. It wasn't enough for me, but I know you couldn't do more.

Stanko I did everything.

Andrej Yes, I think you did.

Stanko I gave you all. All of it.

Andrej I know. And it's all right.

Stanko You know?

Andrej I know.

Stanko All right then. It's good that you know. That's good.

Scene eighteen


Andrej I'll have to go.

Stanko I'm not making you leave.

Andrej I know. It's just that, I need to pick up my car.

Stanko Car.

Andrej It's at the mechanic's, I told you, what, you forgot?

Stanko I didn't. I didn't forget anything.

Andrej I'll have to go, before they close.

Stanko Of course.


Stanko Did you take all your things?

Andrej Yes, I did.

Stanko The hat?

Andrej I took it, yes.

Stanko All right then.


Stanko Wait...

Andrej What?

Stanko I'll give you something.

Andrej Give me?

Stanko It's nothing. So that you don't think... Just something. I just now remembered it.

Andrej All right then. I'll wait.

Stanko Wait here.


Stanko Here, you drew this.

Andrej Where did you get it from?

Stanko I have all kinds of things.

Andrej You kept it?

Stanko I kept everything.

Andrej Why?

Stanko Why not?


Andrej Can I take this picture?

Stanko Take it.

Andrej You sure you don't need it?

Stanko Take it.

Andrej Thank you.

Stanko Don't thank me. Just take it.


Andrej I should be on my way...

Stanko You should, yes...

Andrej Well then, what else...

Stanko Nothing.

Andrej All right then, I'm going.

Stanko Yes...

Andrej We'll see each other again.

Stanko Of course.

The end

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