A dark play about horrors of the Company and the destinies of people entrapped there. (And a bit, also, about their contribution on preserving the Company and making it thrive.)
Hope is young. Hope is enthusiastic. Hope is a secretary on her first day at work in a Company. A famous, inspirational, concurrent, employee-loving Company. And she’s not just any secretary; she’s a secretary of a high-positioned executive. Maybe not the highest-positioned, but anyway, a bright future is ahead of her. At least it was– until the dark came. I mean, the lights went out, as did the rest of electrical equipment, including the mega-super telecom gadgets. Her boss is out of his mind. How will he attend a crucial video-conference meeting?! Hope’s brilliant idea for her boss to attend the meeting personally, turned on her. Now, she, Hope has to find a reception desk and order transportation for her boss.
It wouldn’t be so difficult, if only she knew anyone who has ever been to the reception desk, or entrance, or even exit. If she only knew ANYONE who has EVER left the building. No, this is impossible, there must be SOMEONE. Come on, Hope, don’t lose your hope. Try harder and you will find someone. Ask everyone you meet, and someone will know, eventually…
And, so, our Hope starts looking for the Exit. Floor by floor, man by man, destiny by destiny – she discovers the Company’s dirtiest secrets. It’s getting harder, but Hope is determined to find a solution. And she did, but, what she found was not what she hoped for.
YEAR OF PRODUCTION: 2010
NUMBER OF FEMALE CHARACTERS: 9 (from 22 till 50)
NUMBER OF MALE CHARACTERS: 14 (from 30 till 50 years)
TRANSLATION BY: TOMISLAV KUZMANOVIC
COPYRIGHT: FULL COPYRIGHT
CHARACTERS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE
HOPE (a secretary)
EXECUTIVE TAKES
RANDOM EMPLOYEE
MAINTENANCE ENGINEER
COFFEE-DRINKERS (SILVIA, LANA AND SETH)
CHILDREN AND THEIR KINDERGARTEN TEACHER
GUERRILLA FIGHTER (ARCHIBALD “HARRY”)
ORACLE
PROJECT MANAGERS 1, 2 (NATE), 3 AND 4
JOSEPH K AND HIS COLLEAGUES
WOMEN (AND A GUY) FROM THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT
RITA (CHIEF OF THE HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT)
BRIGITA (COMPANY’S PRESIDENT)
COURSE INSTRUCTOR
MARTY MICHELSON (THE MOST VALUED EMPLOYEE)
ARTY (HIS CLONE)
STAGE DIRECTIONS
The audience sits around the center of the space (the stage includes the space around the audience as well as in the center of the circle formed by the audience. Around the audience the stage is set on several levels (it can be some sort of a scaffold, etc.). At every level, office interior can be seen – computer desks, office cabinets, coffee machine, water cooler, copier, etc. In the centre just above the audience (e.g. at the height of 2-2.5 meters) there is a platform that will in the last scene serve as a roof terrace. In the first scene, a couple of desks separated by the screens can be seen at one level. “The Executive’s Office” is also just a desk separated from the rest of scene by a screen.
Note: When in the play (right in the first scene) “the power goes out”, all of the lights go out, the stage is in total darkness. The whole play is played in the dark with minimal sources of light (such as a cell phone, flashlight, laptop, etc. which change from scene to scene as it is indicated in scene directions.)
SCENE ONE
Executive’s office. It is empty and in front of it there is a desk at which the secretary is sitting.
Executive enters without looking at Hope.
HOPE
Hello.
EXECUTIVE
Hello, Faith.
HOPE
It’s Hope, sir.
EXECUTIVE
Hope.
EXECUTIVE enters his office and sits at his desk. Turns on the computer. Reads newspapers waiting for him at his desk. At that moment the power goes out. EXECUTIVE tries to call Hope on the interphone, but he discovers it does not work.
EXECUTIVE
Faith, come here!
Hope enters.
HOPE
Yes, Mr. Takes.
EXECUTIVE
What happened?
HOPE
With what?
EXECUTIVE
What do you mean, what? With the lights.
HOPE
You mean the electricity? The power went out.
EXECUTIVE
And? When it is coming back on?
HOPE
Don’t know, sir.
EXECUTIVE
I’d like you to find out.
Hope leaves the office. Passes by her desk and enters a large room filled with desks.
The room is empty except for one employee hurrying out.
HOPE
Hey, hey, wait up.
EMPLOYEE
What?
HOPE
Where is everyone?
EMPLOYEE
They’re gone. The power went out.
HOPE
So is it coming back? Do you know when?
EMPLOYEE (he didn’t hear her well)
When’s who coming back?
HOPE
The power.
EMPLOYEE
There’s no way of telling.
The employee leaves.
Hope goes back to the Executive’s office. Knocks on the door.
HOPE
Sir, I’ve found out.
EXECUTIVE
What? When the power’s coming back on?!
HOPE
Yes.
EXECUTIVE
And?
HOPE
There’s no way of telling.
EXECUTIVE
And what am I supposed to do now?
HOPE
I don’t know, sir.
EXECUTIVE
For god’s sake, Faith, what’s wrong with you today?
HOPE
It’s Hope, sir. What do you mean, what’s wrong with me today?
EXECUTIVE
You usually always have a solution for everything, but today you don’t know anything.
HOPE
Usually? It’s my first day here, sir.
EXECUTIVE
Then who was here yesterday?
HOPE
Faith, sir.
EXECUTIVE
Uh-huh, I knew your name was Faith, Hope. So then, where’s Faith today?
HOPE
I was told she passed away, sir.
EXECUTIVE
Hmm, I’m really sorry. So sudden, how come?
HOPE
Well, it wasn’t all that sudden, supposedly for the last couple of years she suffered from cancer.
EXECUTIVE
Don’t say!
HOPE
Yes, well, I didn’t even have a chair today. You see, Faith was, it seems, in a wheelchair.
EXECUTIVE
Most unfortunate. You did get a chair, I hope?
HOPE
Yes, sir, everything’s all right.
EXECUTIVE
All right then. Just tell me if you have any problems, Hope. I will make sure your working conditions are good. You’ll see, I always look after my employees. First friends, then co-workers. That’s my motto. For a successful company it is most important to work in a pleasant, friendly atmosphere. Wouldn’t you agree, Faith?
HOPE
It’s Hope. Most certainly, sir. I couldn’t agree more.
EXECUTIVE
So, what are we going to do?
HOPE
You mean, about electricity? We’ll have to wait, I guess.
EXECUTIVE
Hope, you’ll see, in a modern dynamic world, market waits for no one. If we don’t do the job, someone else will. Russians, Chinese, Kenyans – they’re just waiting to run us over. I, for example, have a very important meeting at 12 and by then I need to have my videoconference up and running.
HOPE
Well, that’s not in my power, but, if I’m not mistaken, your meeting is at Holding.
EXECUTIVE
Yes, so?
HOPE
Well, that company is only two blocks away.
EXECUTIVE
Is that so?
HOPE
Perhaps you could go there in person.
EXECUTIVE
Hope, that’s a brilliant idea. Please call the front desk and get me a car. Tell them I want it in front of the company in one hour.
HOPE
I’m sorry, the phones are dead, I will have to go down there myself.
EXECUTIVE
So, what are you waiting for?
HOPE
I don’t know where the front desk is.
EXECUTIVE
Well, that’s ridiculous, probably somewhere near the exit.
HOPE
Er, hmmm… And where is the exit?
EXECUTIVE
How am I supposed to know that? Please, I beg you, don’t bother me with such trifles, I can’t be doing your job too. Go now, I expect a car to be waiting for me in exactly one hour.
HOPE
Yes, sir.
Hope leaves
EXECUTIVE (to himself)
I mean, really, you have to draw everything for her.
SCENE TWO
Hope walks out of the Executive’s office and heads toward the department. The department is completely empty, so she walks out into the hallway in front of the department. As she opens the door, she is almost run over by a crowd of frantic people scurrying down the hallway. The hallway is lit with emergency lights.
HOPE (trying to stop someone from the crowd)
Excuse me, excuse me! Does anyone know where the exit is?
No one pays attention to her.
Through the crowd a clamor passes and grows louder and louder.
EVERYONE
The meeting today at 12… Emergency meeting… All employees must be there… Today at 12… In the conference hall… All must come… Emergency meeting today at 12…
HOPE (trying to stop someone from the crowd)
What meeting? Where’s the conference hall?
Again no one pays attention to her. Suddenly she sees the “EXIT” sign glowing in the dark.
(to herself)
I’m so stupid, it says exit right there.
(trying to make her way through the crowd)
Nothing, forget that I asked, excuse me, can you… thank you…
Just as she is about to put her hand on the door handle, someone grabs her and drags her along with the crowd.
MAINTENANCE ENGINEER
No, don’t touch that door. It’s dangerous.
HOPE
How can it be dangerous, it says exit. That’s what I’m doing, looking for an exit.
MAINTENANCE ENGINEER
That’s not an exit. It just says so because of the inspection. They had remodeled these exits long time ago and turned them into storage spaces and offices.
HOPE
And why is that dangerous?
MAINTENANCE ENGINEER
They turned them into offices, and then into storage spaces without letting the people out first. Who knows what’s in there. There are stories that people made their way into ventilation system and live there feeding on chocolate bars from vending machines. Others say they drink blood from those who get locked up in restrooms.
HOPE
(shocked)
What?!
(then she realizes)
Aaah, you’re joking, right. But do you know where the exit is?
MAINTENANCE ENGINEER
The exit is in me switching the power back on in two hours. Otherwise, there’s no way out of this situation.
HOPE
What do you mean?
MAINTENANCE ENGINEER
The ventilation system doesn’t work without power, we’ll suffocate like rats if we don’t get the power back in two hours.
(stops in the middle of sentence)
HOPE
What happened?
MAINTENANCE ENGINEER
Uh, crap. I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, now you’ll start a panic.
HOPE
I won’t tell anyone, I promise. But I have to say you really got me scared there. So can you switch the power back on?
MAINTENANCE ENGINEER
No. I told them nicely that we can’t use the oil from the generator we use for fighting cockroaches. The only thing we can try is…
The engineer is taken away by the flood of people. Hope is pushed into a small room.
SCENE THREE
No commotion from the hallway can be heard. Three characters are laughing. (They are standing in a room with the coffee machine, but as it is pitch dark, this cannot be seen.)
LANA
(laughing)
I don’t believe this, how did you manage to screw up the whole power grid? Didn’t I tell you not to kick the poor machine?
SILVIA
(laughing, although somewhat offended)
But I didn’t do anything… I had to kick it, it’s been acting up for days. Haven’t you figured that yesterday it made coffee with cold milk?
SETH
Yeah, true, the machine’s conspired against you. Just as everything else.
LANA
But you showed it. No one’s gonna mess with you. If need be, you’ll take away all of its electricity.
SETH
(laughs imitating scary laugher from cheap horror movies)
Buhahahaha…
SILVIA
Go to hell… But at least now we can drink coffee in peace.
LANA
Yes, we can. But you don’t have any.
SILVIA
You’re so mean.
SETH
Here, you can have mine. I owe you for the power outage, hehe. You totally saved me. I was supposed to turn in the fastcheck list tomorrow, but I still haven’t done anything. Now I can say it all got erased.
(pauses)
I’m kinda worried, you know, this is the second document I’m late with. Another one and I’ll get fired.
LANA
C’mon, you’re always so paranoid. Fired? No way.
SETH
No, seriously, haven’t you heard they’re making a hit list. And then this meeting at 12…
SILVIA
Well, all the time you’re talking about quitting. There’s your chance.
SETH
You’re so stupid. It’s easier to find another job while you still have one than if you get fired.
SILVIA
I’m stupid. And if you’re so smart, how come you still haven’t found yourself another job.
SETH
Well, I had a couple of offers, I can’t say, but I’m waiting for the real thing.
There’s no point in taking the same job as this one. These days they’re only looking for interns and trainees, you know yourself that it’s a crisis.
SILVIA
And what do you want? To get a executive’s position right away. Hahahaah!
LANA
You’re crazy. Not that they’re not going to sack you, you gonna get a raise. That’s what I was just about to tell you. Do you know that Tom from Mikes’ department?
SETH
You mean Sanders?
LANA
Yeah, that’s the one.
SILVIA
Geez, that guy goes on my nerves. Once, would you believe it, he told me…
SETH
Don’t interrupt her.
LANA
Okay. You know how he screwed up the last two projects big time?
SETH
Yeah, and he’s complaining all the time.
LANA
Yes, can you believe it, he says he can’t work at such pace, that his computer is crap… Like mine isn’t. He asked, imagine, he asked to have his overtime paid.
(A salvo of laughter)
Anyway, I’m waiting for this conference, in the room next to Bob’s, and I hear them, they’re discussing what to do with him, I guess that Mary and Matt were there too. They said how he screws everything up, something along those lines, that he’s a loose cannon, that he’s always late on his deadlines and that they don’t know what task to give him anymore.
(dramatic pause)
And then they concluded that it would probably be best to make him the boss for the new department.
(a couple of seconds of silence)
SETH
I can’t believe it.
SILVIA
(angrily)
You can’t believe what? Typical. This is so typical. This explains everything. Why we have such morons for bosses. They appoint one another.
(pause)
LANA
You’re right. And those who do their work honestly, end up like Joseph K.
(Pause)
SILVIA
(to Seth)
See, it pays to be a lousy worker.
(adds mockingly)
… Boss.
SETH
(offended)
I’m not that bad…
HOPE
Excuse me…
(coffee drinkers scream as one)
SETH
Sweet Jesus, you scared me!
SILVIA
Where did you come from?
LANA
And how long have you been here?
HOPE
I’m sorry, I didn’t want to scare you. I’m Hope, Senior Executive Takes’ new secretary. He sent me to find the front desk, but I got lost. Can you please help me?
SETH
(after short thinking)
Well, you know I don’t know where the front desk is. I always come from my apartment, I live on the second floor.
SILVIA
We too. In fact, I don’t know anyone who lives outside the building.
LANA
Perhaps some older people do. I know they used to live in the houses outside town.
SILVIA
Yes, and the oldest is definitely…
LANA
Aunty Julie.
HOPE
Who?
SETH
The Oracle.
HOPE
The Oracle?
SETH
Mmh yeah, she once worked with bases… But, never mind that – you’ll see for yourself why they still call her that…
SILVIA
She’s on the sixth floor. Julie Kingfisher. Works at the IT Support. One floor down from the daycare.
(she turns to Lana)
Thank god our company still has a daycare. I worried I’d have to get up early to take Mia to kindergarten. But now – they come and get them and they can stay there until eight.
LANA
Sure thing, so you can work longer, even though they don’t pay if you work overtime.
SILVIA
Imagine I stay here working, I go and take care of some things after work – shopping and such, and they I come and get Mia.
LANA
You leave your child there until eight so you can run errands?!
SILVIA
(unconvincingly)
No, no. But they do learn lots of things there, you know. They have much greater chances of getting a job in the company if they went to kindergarten and school here.
LANA
Well, that’s just great… Do you really want this for your child?...
HOPE
(interrupts them)
I’m sorry to interrupt, but how can I find the eighth floor? The elevators are not working.
LANA
There’s a stairway near here, second door on the left. Hopefully they unlocked it now that the power’s out.
HOPE
Thank you. Bye.
After Hope has left, the voices of the three employees can still be heard.
SETH
Shit, I hope she won’t rat on us.
LANA
What, because of gossiping? C’mon, don’t be such a wuss. What are you afraid of, can’t you see she’s all lost. She’s no idea who we talked about.
SILVIA
Maybe she’s just pretending.
LANA
Imagine them spying on us, like we’re some big shots. And, besides, what can happen on account of one gossip??? You’re being paranoid again…
As Hope leaves, the voices grew quiet.
SCENE FOUR
Hope manages to find the entrance to the stairway and then realizes she’s all alone in pitch darkness and has no idea how to find the eighth floor. She heads slowly down the stairs counting them to herself in order to know her way back.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…
She hears a child’s voice down below.
CHILD 1
...2048, 4096, 8192, 16384…
Fired or not, here I come.
Suddenly a small light turns on somewhere three floors below. Shrieking and children laughing can be heard.
CHILD 2
I’m safe.
CHILD 1
Mathew, you’re it!
CHILD 3
You’re lying, you haven’t tagged me.
Hope descends towards the light. Suddenly – one child sees her and screams.
CHILD 4
Aaaaaah!!! Joseph, Joseph K’s coming…
Now all kids are screaming and start running one floor down.
HOPE
Wait, wait…
Suddenly she hears the sound of elevator door opening somewhere three floors below – PING – and some elevator music.
HOPE
(to herself)
How come the elevators are working?
Hope follows them. She can see the light on the floor below and hear the voices of children and their teacher. The elevator is positioned in such a way that children cannot be seen, only their voices can be heard.
CHILD 4
Joseph, it was Joseph, I’m sure…
Clamor of children’s voices…
TEACHER
Ah, you’re here, Lucy, Barney – where have you been – didn’t we say that you couldn’t go to the hallway alone…
CHILD 4
We… we just…
TEACHER
Okay, never mind. I want you to stand in line, two by two, and then get into the elevator and follow the cleaning ladies, they will take you to the exit.
All Hope has heard was the word “Exit”. She’s trying to catch up with them.
HOPE
Wait, wait…
The sound of children getting in line and the elevator door closing. Then the light in the hallway again goes out.
Hope is again in complete darkness. At that moment the flashlight suddenly turns on and shines a light on Hope.
SCENE FIVE
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
ADMIT IT!
HOPE
Excuse me?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?
HOPE
The Company.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
I knew it.
HOPE
And you, who do you work for?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
I’M ASKING QUESTIONS HERE!
You’re new here, right? I haven’t seen you before!
(to himself)
Like I don’t know they’ve been trying to catch me. They’ve been trying it for years. They’re getting slicker by the day.
(to Hope)
Tell me, what did they tell you to say? Do they have a message perhaps?
HOPE
What message?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
From the Company.
HOPE
I have no idea what you are talking about. I’m just here looking for the front desk.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
What?
HOPE
I’m looking for an exit.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER (laughs exaggeratedly)
Hahahahaha!
I’m also looking for an exit… That’s very slick, trying to get to me with that question.
There’s no exit, no, and you know it – so stop screwing around with me.
You know, I’d really want to know: are we on a ship?!
Tell me now before others come.
HOPE
What others?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
The ones you called with that little gadget of yours.
HOPE
What gadget? … I’m sorry, I have no idea what you are talking. I’m Senior Executive Takes’ new secretary and I’m looking for an exit from the building so that he could make it on time for his meeting at Holding.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
So typical. Send the maid to do your dirty job. And if you die – who cares. But, besides, what kind of bullshit it that, going on a meeting in Holding, how does he plan to get there? By car? Hahaha, why doesn’t he take that expensive Lexus of his on a little ride? The Company bought it for him, now it occupies the double parking space assigned exclusively to him, our big executive.
HOPE
Well, I don’t know, he didn’t tell me he had a…
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Let me tell you why. Because down here there are no cars left, no parking spaces. There’s nothing, because there’s no exit. They sold the cars, the garage, everything. Now down here is the sweat-shop with the Kenyans. They sold everything before we started.
HOPE
Started???
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Started the journey, yes. What do you think, that people would willingly agree on a journey from which they will never come back? I’m telling you – this is a spaceship from which there is no exit. And we’re on a mission – I just don’t know what kind. I’ve hoped you’re one of theirs, and that I could torture a little you so you’d tell me. But, you’re just a sheep like everyone else.
HOPE
I’m not a sheep, I’m new. And I would figure it out if we were on a ship. Sooner or later. I’m very observant.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Yeah? Really? Then tell me, how old are you?
HOPE
Twenty-two.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
And have you ever been out?
HOPE
Of course I have – I was at the shopping mall, at school, at the playground.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Ah, I see – on the third, fifth, and thirteenth floor.
HOPE
Okay – I’m lucky enough to live in a super building that has all that. But, I was in the park – that’s in Annex 5. Open sky, trees, the works.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Ah, Annex 5 – the left wing. (The fact that it is called the left WING – that doesn’t remind you of the ship’s wing?)
Well, honey – does it ever rain there? No, it doesn’t, and why not? Because that’s not the real sky – that’s a ceiling, my dear, a projection – that’s all. You should watch an episode of Star Trek and you’ll see – every ship needs trees to create microclimate. Otherwise we would run out of air.
HOPE
Okay, if you’re so smart, show me some proof that we’re on a ship.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Eh, if only I had some. But they’re smart, so smart. All of this is a huge labyrinth. There’s no way out of here, I can’t find a passage to the outer deck. But it has to be somewhere here – how else would the maintenance guys get here? Or – maybe they’re not letting us mix – maybe they too are locked in the outer rim, just as we are in the inner one – that’s it!!! – thank you, now everything’s clear. Gotta go, bye…
HOPE
Hey, where are you going? You have to help me if you know everything.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Oh, yeah – what are you doing in the stairway in the first place?
HOPE
I’m looking for some lady they call the Oracle.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Ah, Aunty Julie. That’s all the way down on the eighth floor. I’ll walk with you, so that you don’t break a leg or something.
HOPE
Thanks. Why do they call her the Oracle?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
‘Cause she worked with Oracle databases, but that was before you were born.
Anyway, listen, have you seen the cleaning ladies today? They haven’t come for coffee, I’ve been waiting for them the whole day.
HOPE
No, I haven’t.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
You know, they come at 9 o’clock sharp. Every day. And now it’s already past 10. I’m afraid I might’ve offended them yesterday.
SCENE SIX
Hope enters the room lit by candles of different colors. An elderly lady sits at the desk and mumbles something into her chin as she arranges cards for a round of solitaire. Upon seeing Hope, she quickly covers the cards with a file folder.
HOPE
Hello!
ORACLE
Oh, oh, hello. I’ve been expecting you.
HOPE
Excuse me?
ORACLE
You’re here because you need something, right? Something important.
HOPE
Well, yes…
ORACLE
So I was just storing the TF567-2 into ICD when the power went out. So, my dear, you’ll have to wait. Don’t you worry. Just give me your email and I’ll send you the link when I’m done.
HOPE
ICD?
ORACLE
Internal Company Database. You’re new in the project, right?
HOPE
I’m new in the company. But I didn’t come here because of that.
They recommended you as someone who knows a lot…
ORACLE
Aaaah. Geez, you scared me, I thought you’re here because you need something for your work. And as far knowledge goes, yes, you’re right. You know, when someone’s been working here as long as I have… I know a thing or two, I can’t say… Come closer. Gimme your hand, please. Yes, yes, beautiful lines, gorgeous. You’re a smart one, right? You have a good heart. But you’re curious, my dear, sometimes too curious. And ambitious, too. You’re gonna get far, but only if you don’t get too nosy. Tell me, what is it you do?
HOPE
I’m a secretary.
ORACLE
Aah, hmm. That’s not a job for those with ambitions. But, if you keep quiet and listen… And keep an open eye – who knows, all kinds of doors can open for you.
HOPE
That’s why I came here – because of the door…
ORACLE
Well, see how I know… Can’t everyone charge dollar fifty a minute.
Anyway, have they told you maybe when the phones are going to start working again? The oddest thing, it’s so seldom that not even the cell phones are working… The last time the power went out, the phones were working. You know, I feel sorry for all those people, they need advice, help. And now I can’t give them any – it’s so sad.
HOPE
When was the last time the power went out? I’ve never seen this before.
ORACLE
Oh, it was twenty years ago, maybe thirty. But, do you know anything about the phones?
HOPE
No, I’ve no idea.
ORACLE
Anyway, who do you work for?
HOPE
I’m Mr. Takes’ new secretary.
ORACLE
Takes’, you say? Well, how’s Faith?
HOPE
She died.
ORACLE
Gee. That’s really rude, they have no courtesy to even send you a note. And that woman worked here for fifty years. There was a time when we used to buy flowers; we would all go to a funeral together. But ever since they cancelled funerals – you see, people die – it’s like they never existed…
HOPE
Yeah, horrible.
ORACLE
But I knew it – I first saw it maybe five years ago. Death, and death – five times I threw the cards for her…
Unpleasant silence.
ORACLE (taking out her tarot cards)
Anyway, let’s get back to work.
So, you’re looking for a door! A gate! The gate to happiness. Eh, my dear, that’s not easy to find…
Let’s see:
The SHIP – hmm, so, you’re going on a long journey, through the unknown you’ll thread, I see dangers on the way…
HOPE
Has this something to do with this spaceship?
ORACLE
What spaceship?
HOPE
This one we’re on.
ORACLE
My dear, are you well? You must’ve mixed something up. Besides, you shouldn’t interrupt me while I’m working…
Ah, the CAT – your surroundings will not favor you, everyone will have some secret intentions.
But there’s help on the way in the shape of a mysterious stranger – the DOG.
Many obstacles there will be, I only see wands here.
But in the end – the WINDOW – a light, salvation.
There’s hope, my dear, but – it won’t be easy…
So, my dear – if you wish to find the DOOR – first you need to find the WINDOW.
HOPE
The window?
ORACLE
Yes, the window.
HOPE
And where can I find the window?
ORACLE
How should I know, my dear? You can’t ask two questions in one day – that’s the basic rule of TAROT. You have to think a little over the answer you got.
HOPE
Ah, I see, thank you. Do I owe you anything?
ORACLE
No, no way, I don’t charge the Company people. But listen, this little thingy with phones, you won’t mention it to Takes, will you?
HOPE
No, of course not. Okay then – bye…
ORACLE
Goodbye, my dear. But, wait, wait a minute – I almost forgot.
HOPE
Yes?
ORACLE
I have some nice necklaces – my niece makes them. They’re not expensive, four bucks apiece. Come, have a look.
HOPE
Geee, can I do it some other time – I’m in a hurry, really – thanks for everything – I’ll come by tomorrow.
ORACLE
Yes, yes, definitely – you know where to find me… And, please, ask what’s happening with those phones if you run into someone.
SCENE SEVEN
Hope gets back into the stairway and realizes she doesn’t know where she’s going. At that moment the flashlight turns on.
HOPE
Who’s there?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
(like an echo)
Who’s there?
HOPE
Who’s that?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Who’s that?
HOPE (already a little scared)
Who is that?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
It’s me, I’m messing with you. So, what did she say?
HOPE
Well, she said I needed to find a window. I have no idea what to do. Where can I find a window?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
A window? Hehe. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
HOPE
What do you mean?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
THE WINDOW SEAT. That’s a myth, an empty story to lure the naïve employees.
(in a spooky voice)
MODEL EMPLOYEES WITH BE AWARDED A WINDOW SEAT…
(in a normal voice)
I’ve never heard anyone seeing a window, let alone sitting next to one.
But even it they did – as we are probably somewhere halfway to Betelgeuse, it wouldn’t do you much good.
But, good luck with that, I’m having a great laugh with your search.
HOPE
I’m glad that you’re having a laugh, but what am I supposed to do now?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER (thinking)
Well, the best thing to do is to go see the smokers – they came up with those fairytales about awarding the employees.
HOPE
Who?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
The project managers. They run the projects, so they also recommend people for awards, right?
Come on, I’ll take you… But be careful, they’re slick, they’ll try to trick you.
HOPE
Ah, take me anyway, what else can I do.
(follows him in silence)
And, yes… I’m Hope.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
I’m Archibald… Harry.
HOPE
Well, Harry – nice to meet you.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
You too.
HOPE
So Harry, why are you hiding around the stairway?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
I live here. I used to work for the Company myself, but then I started noticing some odd things. For example, that strange story about Joseph K. The moment I started digging, I got fired. I’ve been living here since and collecting evidence.
HOPE
And how’s that going for you?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Let’s not talk about that now…
And, here we are, the twelfth floor.
HOPE
What’s here?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
The smoking lounge, what else.
HOPE
Okay, wanna wait for me?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Well, I’ve got nothing better to do.
HOPE
Thanks, I hope I won’t be long.
SCENE EIGHT
Hope enters the room filled with smoke and lit by laptops lined up along the high desk very much like a bar. There’s a smoker at every laptop. They don’t notice Hope as she enters. They’re playing some board game and every so often write something down in their laptops.
PM 1
Uh-huh, and what are you gonna do now?
PM 2
You bastard, always so lucky!!!
PM 3
Now, now, we’ve got enough designers for everybody, let’s go… it’s your turn.
PM 4 takes the dice and blows in them – let’s go, gimme some extra points…
PM4
Yay, I did it – seventeen. I choose one high performer and five regulars. Put them all on Media Support Function Feature.
PM 1
You fool, why didn’t you put a couple of testers.
PM 4
What for, if they make a good design and run a fastcheck and designers’ test – what’s the use of testers.
(all start laughing)
PM 2
Hehehe, you can tell you’re green – this isn’t Project Management 7 – the Revenge of the Oppressed! These are real people, darling, not a game, they never do their work the way they’re supposed to and if you put too many of them into the design, they’ll all get lazy and perform even worse.
PM 3
Okay, let him be, he’ll learn.
PM 1
Gee, you’re such a gentle people provisioning resp. That’s your new strategy – convince the fool that he’s got it easy so he won’t complain?
PM 3
Shut up and play or I’ll redcard you - you’ll get only low performers.
(passes the dice to PM 1)
PM 1
(throws the dice, awaits impatiently and cries happily when he sees the result)
Yeah. I got myself another technical coordinator.
PM 3
(checks the figurine box)
Oops, there are none left. But I can give you two designers and testers instead.
PM 1
No way. You screwed me over like that for the past three rounds. I want my coordinator and I have the right to get one.
PM 3
Okay, okay, we’ll promote someone. We haven’t given a raise to anyone for years anyhow. You wanna Borut or that Berger woman?
PM 1
Borut, naturally. The Berger woman is smart, but I don’t want her to start with all that women hysteria when things get rough. You how girls get.
PM 3
Suit yourself.
(turns to PM 2)
It’s your turn.
PM 2
Oh, shit.
PM 3
What happened?
PM 2
Bah, I burned one of the designer figurines with my cigarette. Look at it now.
PM 3
Don’t worry, will make you a new one.
PM 1
Yeah, we can do that, or we can sack Johnson. Anyhow we wanted to get rid of him, we don’t need so many designers, now that we introduced working Sundays.
PM 2
You’re right. That’s settled then. (throws the figurine into the garbage bin as if shooting through a basketball hoop)
(PM 2 throws the dice…)
HOPE
Excuse me!
They all turn around.
PM 1
Oooh, another sicko.
HOPE
Excuse me?
PM 1
Smoker…
HOPE
Ah, no, no... I'm just looking for a window.
(laughter)
PM 2
A window, really? How long have you been working here?
HOPE
It's my first day.
PM 2
(mockingly)
It's m first day, and you already want a window...
Whoever sent you here is having a great laugh.
PM 3
(remembers to pass the responsibility to someone else)
Yeah, the seats are assigned by the department managers, but they've already gone home.
HOPE
But it's only 11.
PM 1
The department managers leave right after coffee, so that someone doesn't ask them something. You know, that's a well-known “departmental syndrome”.
They are all laughing… this is obviously their internal joke.
If you work at that position for over two years, your long-term memory gets screwed.
PM 2
(tosses in)
... and your language abilities.
HOPE
What do you mean?
PM 1
Well, they can’t remember anything from yesterday. For example, they can’t remember a single promise they gave to someone a day before yesterday. If they want to remember something the next day, they have to send themselves an email before they go home. So, every morning they have their coffee, check their email and go home before someone asks them something embarrassing.
PM 2
And as far as their language abilities go, something goes wrong in their center for speech, so they can express themselves only vaguely and using empty phrases.
PM 3
There’s a theory that they get brainwashed at their Management 3 Course, but no one proved that one yet because none of them remembers anything that happened at the course, and even if they did, they can’t give you a straight answer, so there’s no use.
HOPE
But I don’t want a window seat, I just want to find someone who has one. But if they can’t remember anything, how will find the window?
(she realizes they are teasing her so she gets angry)
Ah, H. told me that you’re gonna try something like that on me. Stop fooling around and, please, tell me WHO’S SITTING NEXT TO THE WINDOW? Or better still – WHERE’S THE FRONT DESK?
PM 1
(appeasingly)
Okay, okay, don’t get all worked up, will help you, missy. As far as the front desk is concerned – don’t ask, I haven’t budged from this floor for two years now. But, well – the only person I know actually got the window seat was Marty Michelson.
PM 2
Yes, that was his award, hahaha. The only person who’s allergic to draught and who hates sitting by the window. Instead they could’ve given him a bathtub filled with ice.
PM 3
Well, they had the best intention. The window seat is a great honor.
PM 2
C’mon – you know what I think about best intentions…
PM 3
Always such a defeatist…
HOPE
(getting really impatient)
I’m sorry to interrupt you – but where could I find that Marty guy?
PM 1
Well, with that we can’t help you.
HOPE
(rolling her eyes)
So, how am I supposed to…
PM 1
(interrupts her)
It would be best to go to Human Resources.
PM 2
Yeah, I’m just on my way up there…
SCENE NINE
Hope and Project Manager, whose name is Nate, walk out of the smoking lounge into the long hallway and head toward the stairway. In his hand Nate carries a cell phone that he uses as a flashlight.
HOPE
Excuse me, can I ask you something?
PM 2 (NATE)
Go ahead.
HOPE
Was that Project Management you were playing? Because it seemed to me you were actually deciding on who was going to work where.
NATE
We did, yes.
HOPE
But…
NATE
That’s the easiest way. Ever since that incident with Joseph K, no one wants to take responsibility, so this is the easiest – let the fortune decide.
HOPE
What incident?
NATE
You don’t know the story of Joseph K? Don’t they teach you that in school?
HOPE
I went to the school for secretaries.
NATE
Aaaa, I see! So you must be Faith’s replacement.
HOPE
Yes, I’m Hope, nice to meet you.
NATE
Nate…
HOPE
So, what’s the story?
NATE
Well, it’s quite a sad story.
(Pause)
(at the other end of the scene the light goes on in a small office cubicle. The mimed story takes place parallel to what Nate tells Hope)
Joseph K was a good worker. He was just average, but solid and dependable. He was also quite shy so everyone thought him modest.
But, he wasn’t without ambitions. After a few years of diligent work, he asked for – a raise.
HOPE
So he was such a good worker, yet he never got a raise?
NATE
Well, he never complained – and who doesn’t complain…
HOPE
And…
NATE
In the background the mimed story of Joseph K takes place. Other characters, such as co-workers, bosses, etc. also appear.
And he just got to the raise list, when the reorganization took place and Joseph gets the second departmental on the phone.
In the mimed story the reorganization is shown as some kind of a game similar to musical chairs. Children’s singing can be heard and the employees are seen running frantically around changing places. The song the children (who are not visible) are singing goes as follows:
Ever since the profits fell
You need to know, it isn’t well
The package of innovation
And reorganization
Now our only rescue is
So, God, save us, please
Station, mation, reorganization,
He who doesn’t find a chair
With Joseph will wander God knows where
Run, run, but careful you be
Someone doesn’t run over thee
Shoo, boo, yoohoohoo
His little mouse will get to you…
True, Joseph did tell him that last week the boss had promised him a raise, but the manager told him that he saw a lot of potential in him and that he would give him a raise as soon as he proved himself.
Joseph asked him: how should I prove myself?
Well, for example, you can work on two projects at the same time, the guy said.
And Joseph said yes.
And so it all began…
HOPE
What?
NATE
Well, nothing, at first Joseph worked on two projects, and just as he was about to get a raise – another reorganization…
HOPE
So he got three projects to work on…
NATE
Bravo… To make matters worse, he was called to account by his boss who told him it was a bit odd that Joseph still didn’t get a single raise, and he’d been with the company for five years.
HOPE
Oh, Jesus, that is really cruel.
NATE
Yes, pretty cruel. But, Joseph was obviously a man with nerves of steel and of endless trust. He patiently explained what it was all about and agreed to take on yet another project. But, of course…
HOPE
No way there was yet another reorganization…
NATE
Well, what can you do, he was really out of luck…
HOPE
Why didn’t he say something?
NATE
Well, I don’t know, I guess he was such a character.
Anyhow – he started working nights as well.
More and more often he worked nights, and during days he was nowhere to be seen… In short, in one of the subsequent reorganizations they simply forgot all about him. That day he showed up in the morning to move. He took his laptop and some boxes and was ready to move.
We see Joseph K at the other end of the scene wandering around with boxes in his hands, a laptop, and a computer mouse dragging on the floor behind him. He is completely lost.
He asked everyone if they knew where his new place was – all in vain – no one knew…
HOPE
They didn’t transfer him anywhere? Well, did he finally go crazy? Tell his boss to go to hell?
NATE
Well, he did go crazy… He threw himself from the twelfth floor. And now people say he’s wandering the halls at night dragging his laptop and his mouse behind.
HOPE
Jesus, that’s horrible – was anyone held responsible for that?
NATE
Um, no. I mean, the executives called up a committee to see where the problem was, but the committee concluded that his suicide was not related to work, but that he was unlucky in love.
HOPE
Was that true?
NATE
I doubt it.
In short, it’s an awful story.
HOPE
Yes, horrible.
NATE
We the project managers were really upset. You can’t even imagine what we went through…
HOPE
You?!
NATE
Well, yes – we. Why are you surprised? You think we don’t have a heart?
(on the verge of tears)
Project managers enjoy torturing people, huh? Do you know what conditions we work in, what stress we have to go through? Nothing, they give us nothing, it’s always more, more, more work, more projects, we can’t even give an orange to someone. For a while I even grew oranges so I could give them out. It’s horrible – I have to get down on my knees and beg people to get to work. They’re all lazy bastards, and there I go busting my ass from 6 to 8, I’m smoking three packs a day – but does anyone care – no, of course not, no one. They all spit in my face – the executives are all over my back, my subordinates hate me, and I have to fight with my colleagues over each and every employee in order to at least get someone normal for the project…
Thank god someone remembered to play PM 3 at the smoking lounge, at first it was all a joke, but ever since that’s how we develop new projects. Otherwise we’d slit each other’s throats too…
This way we have a better overview, we have a person in who makes sure people don’t work on more that three projects at once.
HOPE
Only three at once?! Great. And no one remembered to hire more people?
NATE
(glances at her completely astonished)
Are you crazy?! We should be happy we’re not letting people off. You don’t know how much the Chinese and Indians and Kenyans are cheaper than us??? That’s what it’s all about – we have to accept jobs because they’re going to run us over. No one gets this – we’re trying to save their jobs, and all they do is nag against us…
HOPE
And so. you’ll go on like this without end – more and more work and you take care of it all and get a heart attack, then new people come and so on, until the Judgment Day???
NATE
And what am I supposed to do, resign, start a revolution, kill the executives???
What, like one man can stop all that machinery? If I say something, they’ll just put someone else in my place. Then it’s better I am the manager than some fool. I’ll at least try to care for people. And who am I fighting for? You think someone would back me up? If I go and organize a strike, they’d stone me to death.
HOPE
Okay, okay, don’t get upset.
NATE
I’m not upset, I’m just sick of it all. This company killed me, I work days on end, I haven’t seen a raise in years, my wife left me and took the kids with her, I still have my loans to pay… The only thing I want is a little respect. I want the people to respect me, and not spit on me whenever they get a chance…
All I want is – Life, that’s what all the people say… (sings Frank Sinatra’s That’s Life)
He realizes he’s lost control because Hope is shocked, so gets his act together.
Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Here we are, fourteenth floor, this is my stop. Human Resources Department is on the seventeenth, just walk past the Marketing and turn right at the end of the hall.
HOPE
Oh, thanks for walking me here. I don’t know how I’d find my way without your cell phone.
NATE
Mmm, yes. You can have it. Last week I wanted to smash it, it keeps ringing.
HOPE
Oh, thank you so much. You’re sure you don’t need it?
NATE
Positive, where I’m going I won’t need one. Joseph K will surely have some light for me…
Nate suddenly leaves the hallway and slams the door.
HOPE
After a couple of seconds she realizes what Nate has just said.
What?! No, you’re not going to…
She opens the door, but Nate has already disappeared somewhere in the dark. Hope remains standing in the hallway. She’s totally confused.
SCENE TEN
Guerrilla Fighter appears suddenly in front of here.
HOPE
Jesus, you scared me.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
I see you found some new friends. A bit more influential than me.
HOPE
Sorry, what are you talking about?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
(imitates Hope’s voice)
Oh, thanks for walking me here. I don’t know how I’d find my way without your cell phone.
(in a normal voice)
I mean, really, sucking up on that sleaze-ball like that.
HOPE
What was I supposed to say? No, I don’t need your help, I already have some – a former employee who illegally lives in the building is waiting for me and he’s gonna show me around?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Okay, you have a point… But it didn’t sound as if he was getting on your nerves.
HOPE
Well, he wasn’t. The man seems all right. But, have you heard what he said last – it sounded he was going to kill himself…
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Oh, don’t let him fool you – he’s only playing the victim. He’ll stab you in the back the moment you turn around. It’s like they’re working overtime for days on end, they never take days off, and such… But in fact all they do is smoke and talk behind people’s backs. They think, you know, that the company would collapse without them. I also thought I was indispensable…
HOPE
And what happened?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Oh, let’s not get into that now. You were going to the Human Resources. So, here we are – the 17th floor.
HOPE
Ah okay, and what about that meeting at 12, in the conference hall, what floor is that on?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
What meeting?
HOPE
I don’t know, some emergency meeting for all the employees.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Jesus, when?
HOPE
At 12.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
No, I mean, when did they announce it? Yesterday?
HOPE
No, after the power went out. It went around, word mouth, pass it around.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Oh, shit. I knew it. The fuel ran out.
HOPE
What’s that supposed to mean?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
The ship ran out of fuel. They have to get rid of the ballast. They’ll get all the people in one room and dump them out into the space.
HOPE
You’ve gotta be joking.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Why would I be joking with something like that?
HOPE
No, you know, you’re being paranoid – we’re not on a ship.
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Oh no, really? Here’s the plan so look for yourself… (he shows her the floor plan in the stairway)
If you don’t believe me – go to the Human resources and see who runs this thing.
Darling, we’ve been on an autopilot for years.
HOPE
What do you mean?
GUERRILLA FIGHTER
Nothing, when you’re going to the Human Resources – go to the end of the hall and take a peak into the Management – see who’s sitting in there…
SCENE ELEVEN
Hope enters the seventeenth floor. She hears someone singing their heart out but completely out of tune. When she approaches she sees and elderly chubby man pressing the pedals of a bicycle and thus producing light for three dancers (one of them is young, while the other two are middle-aged women). The dancers are practicing can-can dance and howling horribly. Suddenly they see Hope.
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 1 (OLDER)
(two of them start giggling in a girly fashion)
Oops! Audience!
GIRL FROM THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT 2 (YOUNGER)
Now we’re embarrassed!
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 3 (THE OLDEST)
You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. If you can’t dance in front of one person, how are you going to dance in front of all of the employees? Today we have an important show.
It’s not like a birthday party – 15-20 people – today everyone’s going to be there.
GIRL FROM THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT 2 (YOUNGER)
I’m scared!
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 3 (THE OLDEST)
Of course you’re scared when here you keep on babbling instead of practicing.
(turns to Hope)
C’mon darling, get here and watch – the tell us – are we any good?
Hope stops and watches. They repeat their act once again.
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 3 (THE OLDEST)
And?
HOPE
(unconvincingly)
Yeah, it’s great. You came up with this today?
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 1 (OLDER)
No, no way we could get this good in a day. This is our standard routine for birthday parties. You’ve never been?
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 3 (THE OLDEST)
You’re the one who skips our parties?
HOPE
(politely)
No, I’d be happy to come, but I’m new here.
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 1 (OLDER)
Ah, then you’ll yet see us. When is your birthday?
HOPE
In May.
GIRL FROM THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT 2 (YOUNGER)
Ah, great – we wear the prettiest costumes in May.
But you have to come. You know – it’s mandatory!
Mrs. Rita says it is very important for the employees’ motivation.
HOPE
(can’t stop herself from being honest)
What, to watch you dance can-can???
GIRL FROM THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT 2 (YOUNGER)
No, no, the party. Because, as countless studies say – money is not important to the employees (contrary to popular opinion), knowing that someone cares about them, that they are part of a community is what’s important. That’s why we stopped paying overtime and introduced birthday parties.
HOPE
Ah, yes, sounds like a wise decision. You’re sure this has nothing to do with saving on the employees?
GIRL FROM THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT 2 (YOUNGER)
No, no – Rita, Brigita and Juanita only care about the employees’ well-being.
HOPE
Rita, Brigita…?
GIRL FROM THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT 2 (YOUNGER)
The Management Board, who else. You really are new here.
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 3 (THE OLDEST)
Okay, enough chitchat. We have a lot more to practice, and there’s only half an hour to the meeting. So, let’s get down to it.
Hope remains there for another second or two and watches the show, and then steals towards the door at the end of the hallway where Harry had told her to look for the Management.
SCENE TWELVE
Hope steals into the room at the end of the hall. In it there are two laptops facing each other at the 45-degree angle. A face can be seen on each of them. The scene looks like two persons are talking to each other, but both of them are virtual and living in a computer.
HOPE
(to herself)
Oh, Jesus, it’s true!!!
RITA
What’s true, dear?
BRIGITA
Yes, dear, what happened?
HOPE
You, you are machines.
BRIGITA
Excuse me, my dear. We’re not machines. We are artificially created persons.
We only live in the machine.
Just as your person lives in your body.
Now we’re a bit limited because we’re working on backup source.
But otherwise we’re quite mobile. We can appear on every computer in the company.
In fact, that’s what we’re doing all the time – but so that people don’t see us. Hehehehe.
RITA
It’s really fun to play hide-and-seek on servers. The only problem is that it drives the poor administrators crazy.
HOPE
It’s really true.
BRIGITA
Ah, yes, truth – what is that? We are really interested in human conception of the truth. The information gathered so far shows some inconclusive results. We cannot make a conclusion on what is true.
RITA
Please, tell us – what is true for you?
HOPE
It’s true that computers run the company.
BRIGITA
Computers – actually we are no more computers than you are. Our neuron network is very similar to human.
RITA
But, if you meant us, yes – we do run this company. I’m Rita – the Chief of the Human Resources Department, and this is Rita – she’s the Company’s President. There’s also Juanita – Chief Financial Officer, but she was just hiding when the power went out. We’re afraid she might have passed out and is now trapped on some server. We’re very worried about her.
BRIGITA
Have you seen her anywhere, Hope? She’s a brunette, quite cheeky. If your Excel spreadsheets go crazy, you can be sure she’s hiding with you.
HOPE
Hope. You know my name.
RITA
I’m sorry, dear – don’t you think I would make a very lousy Chief of the Human Resources if I didn’t know our employees’ names? Especially those who got employed today. We’ve been following you, darling, since you were born – we’ve always known you’d be a secretary. What do you think, why was it always you who had to make coffee in the kindergarten?
BRIGITA
That, you know, is the job for the smartest. But you also have to be modest. So that you can solve problems without asking for a raise or any other benefits. You know, people who get benefits tend to become lazy.
RITA
(recites)
That’s right. The Good Management Manual. Rule 1.3.1 to 1.3.11:
- 1. If an employee is important for the company – this should under no condition be made known to him.
- 2. He should always be overburdened with work.
- 3. He should constantly be threatened by being fired and kept in the conviction that he will not be able to find another job.
- 4. If he even thinks of resigning, he should be given a home loan with favorable interest rates.
- 5. If the employee decides to resign after all, these same interest rates suddenly should become very unfavorable.
- 6. In case he already owns a home, he should be offered to refinance his loans.
- 7. If he is complaining that his job is boring – he should be given a more interesting task, but only after he finishes the previous one, plus minimally three even more boring ones.
- 8. If his health is threatened, his medical insurance should be canceled.
- 9. When he ends up in hospital, the company should pay for his medical treatment and then take monthly installments from the employee’s paycheck.
10. In case of the employee’s death, the family should receive a substantial reward as a sign of gratitude for their sacrifice. In this way the victim’s family will continue to support the company (note: this is rarely a problem because useful employees seldom have families – they do not have time to start one because of their work).
11. After employing a new employee who has the potential to become important for the company – the company should immediately start the search and training of his replacement (note: average life of an important employee spans to 20 years).
HOPE
You’re trying to say I’m important to you. Well, thank you, there’s a nice future waiting for me.
RITA
Oh no, my dear, you really are not important. You are completely expendable, and there scores of those similar to you just waiting at the unemployment office. Even if you wanted, you could not find another job, and you know this well.
HOPE
Okay, I get the point.
BRIGITA
Lovely, dear, you’re so smart.
HOPE
Anyway, please be honest. Are we on a ship? Is it true that we ran out of fuel? Are you going to dump most of the people into the space at today’s meeting?
RITA
Ah, Hope. You have been talking to Archie. He’s always been a little crazy.
Today’s meeting is necessary according to the Crisis Situation Protocol – Article 5.6.1.
General remarks:
In crisis situations people are prone to violence and anarchy, thus we introduce the following rules:
General Rule No. 1:
Their minds should be occupied.
General Rule No. 2:
Panic should be prevented.
General Rule No. 3:
People’s trust into their leadership should be maintained.
Detailed guidelines for different situations can be found in chapters 5.7. – 5.15.
BRIGITA
Unfortunately, detailed guidelines for power outage situations were kept on a backup server that had shut down. So we had to make do. We came up with – the party for all employees!!!
RITA
Yes – we’re really smart, aren’t we?
Our girls are going to dance their can-can – we’re going to distribute chocolate bars from our vending machines. Gee, people are going to have so much fun. You know, people really love chocolate bars and parties. This will take their minds a little from this terrible crisis we are dealing with. We also thought of starting a choir so they can all sing a little. Yes – that will be groovy!
BRIGITA
This can last the whole day – and by then the power will hopefully be back up again. And, you know, if we gather them all at one place, we’ll save on ventilation.
We do this every time we have to save money. That month we call up a couple of meetings for all employees. Then we turn off the ventilation in other spaces. Juanita came up with this – she’s very smart, no? I think that our maker would be very proud of us if he could see us.
What do you think – the party is a great solution, right?
HOPE
Brilliant – why don’t you give awards for the stupidest idea of the year? That would be fun!
BRIGITA
That’s an excellent idea! Well done, Hope, my dear. We knew you were our little smarty-pants, maybe we’ll even transfer you to the Human Resources Department if you continue to be so good.
HOPE
About ventilation. Someone told me that we have air left for less than an hour. What are you going to do about that?
RITA
(very unconvincingly)
He’s exaggerating. Besides, we’ll save up some air if everyone comes to the meeting. See how smart we are… We think of everything…
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 1 (OLDER)
Excuse me, Ma’am, we have to go – the party starts in fifteen minutes. What are you doing here? You are not allowed to be here. Only we can talk to the bosses.
(pushes Hope out)
HOPE
Why are you listening to them? They’re only computers…
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 1 (OLDER)
Ahahahaha. They fooled you too – that’s what we thought when they went away. My dear, they ran away to Jamaica and now they’re working from there. It wouldn’t be nice if others saw this so that they don’t ask the same for themselves.
They promised us, if we don’t tell anyone, we’ll soon be allowed to come too.
HOPE
Really, are you blind – these are not human beings?
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 1 (OLDER)
Oh, you’re so funny, you can say you’re new here. Come on, hurry up, the party’s about to start.
Gee, I’m so excited. I’m a little scared too, you know, we didn’t have enough time to practice our choreography. But, we are where we are, when the going gets tough the tough get going. That’s what Brigita always says!!!
HOPE
Wait, wait – tell me where can I find Marty Michelson.
MARKETING DEPARTMENT LADY 1 (OLDER)
Michelson, Michelson – ah, he’s on the twenty-second. What do you need him for? … C’mon, hurrrrrrrrryyyyyy…
SCENE THIRTEEN
Hope hurries to the twenty-second floor. She calls Harry several times, but he doesn’t answer.
HOPE
Harry, Harry!!!!
Where is he now, we really don’t have time. Everyone’s crazy here…
I need to find the exit, as soon as I can…
At that moment the Maintenance Engineer runs past her.
HOPE
Excuse me, wait… Did you manage to turn on the ventilation?
MAINTENANCE ENGINEER
Do I look like I did?
(mumbling into his chin)
It has to be somewhere here…
HOPE
Wait, I think I’ve found the exit… It should be on the twenty-second floor… Wait, we can save ourselves…
But the Maintenance Engineer has already disappeared. Hope runs after him and finds herself in a hallway full of doors behind which she can hear voices. She opens the first door.
People with headsets and sunglasses are repeating some unintelligible words in unison. A man stands in front of them and turns a board with a drawing of a colorful spiral. The board is lit from behind with a flashlight. All this fills the room with some strange multicolored light.
STUDENTS
ATM, TDM, IP – IP V4, IP V6, TCP/UDP/DCCP, RTP, RTSP, RTCP, NMP, HTTP, FTP, MTP, ISUP, TUP, SCCP, TCAP
Hope closes the door and opens a new one. She sees the same scene.
STUDENTS
With the business case analysis the most important projections are:
MFV2, future compatibility, backward compatibility, possible cost reduction…
Suddenly someone grabs her by the shoulder.
COURSE INSTRUCTOR
What are you doing here?
HOPE
I, I, I got lost…
COURSE INSTRUCTOR
You’re not allowed to be here. Where’s your receipt? Have you paid for the course?
HOPE
I don’t have a receipt. I’m just looking for the Maintenance Engineer.
COURSE INSTRUCTOR
Don’t say, we’re looking for him too. All day long we have to spin the machines by hand, everything died on us. And he’s nowhere to be found! Typical. Anyway, have you maybe seen the cleaning ladies? Three guys at Management 3 got sick again…
HOPE
No, I haven’t, someone asked me about them before. But the Maintenance Engineer has just passed…
COURSE INSTRUCTOR
Then I’m gonna catch him.
Heads in the direction Hope has shown. But then he remembers something and turns around.
And you, get lost, you’re not allowed to be here…
HOPE
I’m going, just tell me how to get to the stairway and what floor are we on.
COURSE INSTRUCTOR
(pushes her out into the stairway)
There’s your exit… This is the nineteenth floor, get lost now and don’t come back without a receipt.
SCENE FOURTEEN
Hope is again left alone in the stairway. She glances at the cell phone and realizes it’s almost 12 o’clock. She begins running up the stairs in a panic, but it’s as if there’s no end. Somehow the hallway strangely twists, so now Hope goes up and down the stairs around the audience.
She reads the floor numbers aloud, but they seem to appear in a random order. 19 then 12, 18 then 14, 21 – but there’s no 22. Hope mutters to herself: “We’re done, done for.” The sound of children’s laughter and nursery rhymes can be heard from the stairway. At one moment it appears to her she sees Joseph K clapping around the stairs with his mouse. The sound of doors opening and closing, elevator sounds – door opening and elevator music. Footsteps, squeaking of wheelchair. Hope runs up and down in a panic.
HOPE
(to herself)
Jesus, I’ve gone mad. I’m running out of oxygen…
The battery on Hope’s cell phone indicates critical levels and starts beeping. Just as her cell phone is about to shut down, she sees the new door and above them the letters: “Floor 22”. She walks through the door and then her cell phone turns off – now she’s in complete darkness. Hope carefully feels her way through the darkness, and then suddenly a horrible whistle splits the air – later it turns out this was a teapot.
HOPE
(screams)
Aaah!!!
MARTY
(screams)
Aaaaaah!!!
ARTY
(screams)
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
Flashlight shines from behind the screen. Hope can’t see anything from the light.
MARTY
Who are you?!
ARTY
And what are you doing here???
HOPE
I’m Hope, Takes’ new secretary, I’m looking for Marty Michelson.
MARTY
Aaah, Marty. It’s been a while since I’ve heard someone say that name.
HOPE
Do you know him? Do you know where I can find him? I was told he was on the 22nd. It’s urgent, we don’t have much time.
MARTY
Easy, easy, dear, calm down, what’s the rush?
The flashlight is slightly lowered to reveal a horrifying figure. At first instance Hope thinks that’s a two-headed monster standing in front of her. But, when she looks again, she realizes that’s an ordinary man with a mirror mounted to his shoulder so his head reflects in it. Hope’s horrified look somewhat offends her host.
MARTY
No one told you it’s rude to stare at those who are different from you?
HOPE
I’m sorry. It’s because of the dark. I really didn’t want to…
MARTY
Okay, okay.
Tell me now, what is so urgent?
HOPE
We’re running out of air!!!
MARTY
Who?
HOPE
I, we, all of us, all of us in the company!!!
In half an hour there won’t be any air left.
MARTY
Nonsense!
HOPE
No, it’s not nonsense. The engineer told me…
MARTY
He’s so full of it! The company has twenty-two floors, each of these holds about 1,200 cubic meters of air, that’s 27,000 cubic meters of air, out of which 21 per cent oxygen. That’s 5,700 cubic meters of oxygen. Until the percentage of oxygen drops below 15 – that is below 4,050 cubic meters – everything is fine.
There are around 2,000 employees in the company, each of them uses 0.4 cubic meters an hour. That comes to 800 cubic meters an hour. This means 1,650/800, we have at least two hours and five minutes.
HOPE
Yes, but the ventilation system shut down more than an hour and a half ago.
MARTY
Okay, you’re right, then we’ll open the window.
HOPE
WINDOW!!! So, it’s true – there is a window. We’re saved – we can open the window, we’re not on a spaceship, we’re not in space. Oh, thank God, Harry is crazy after all.
MARTY
Ah – now you’ve reminded me – we can’t open the window.
HOPE
Oh, no, it’s all over – we have to turn on the ventilation – otherwise we’re done. How can we do that, what are we going to do now, you were my last hope…
MARTY
Darling, you’re talking nonsense. You’re obviously short on oxygen. You should rest, here, have some tea – I’ve just made it.
HOPE
I’m not your darling. You’re insane. We have to, there’s no time…
MARTY
Don’t worry, we’re not in space, I mean, we are – because everything is in space, that is we are all part of the universe. But, we’re on Earth, if that’s what you mean. There’s atmosphere outside and everything. It’s just that I put some silicone on the windows, they were horribly draughty, you know. And I’m so sensitive to draught.
Hope goes completely crazy, she grabs the flashlight from Marty’s hands and starts looking for the windows… When she finds one, she starts scraping the silicone off with her fingernails.
MARTY
Oh, dear, get a hold of yourself. We’ll open the door. Come.
HOPE
Exit – there is an exit… The Oracle was right – find the window and you’ll find the door.
Marty takes her outside, to the roof terrace. At that moment the ceiling – representing the sky – fills with starts.
There are two chairs and a small table on the terrace. Marty puts down the teapot and goes back inside to get the cups. Hope, taken by the beauty of the scene, stands there in shock and cannot move.
Marty comes back to the terrace.
MARTY
Have a seat, my dear. Have some tea. I hope you love green tea.
Hope is silent.
MARTY
It’s nice out here, right? Especially in the summer when there’s no wind. You know, this is the 22nd floor, it gets quite windy here.
HOPE
(can’t find the words)
These are, these are, these are…
MARTY
The stars. Yes. Haven’t you ever seen them before?
HOPE
Well, I have, in the park on the fifth floor – but they didn’t look so, so pretty.
MARTY
When those aren’t real. The real ones are beautiful. They amaze me whenever I see them.
Come now, if you’ve calmed down a bit. Tell me, what’s the rush?
NADICA
(still entranced)
Well, the oxygen and the people, they’re all going to suffocate… We have to bring them here. We have to save them.
MARTY
That’s out of the question. No one came to see me or asked about me for ten years now. No way I am going to save them. Besides, I’ve been saving their asses for years. I’ve had enough.
Did you know, dear, that I’m producing all of the software for this stupid company?
I gave some fictional jobs to them so that they feel useful. I realized they only get in the way.
HOPE
What do you mean you gave them jobs??? You’re in control of all this? You run it all?
MARTY
No, not me, the fantastic three (Rita, Brigita, and Juanita). But they are so predictable they do whatever I want.
Besides, it would be a little silly if I didn’t know how to outsmart my own software.
HOPE
The three of them were your doing?! You know they control everything? Why don’t you turn them off? Why don’t you save all those people?
MARTY
Save them? From what? Besides – why haven’t YOU turned them off? Now they’re trapped in three laptops. They have to be. You could’ve simply turned them off.
HOPE
Two, Juanita got lost. But I don’t know. It never crossed my mind.
MARTY
So think about it.
HOPE
I guess I could have, I don’t know, it seemed like a murder. Besides, who would run the company? I would be responsible for everyone’s future…
Something more important was on my mind– I had to find the exit…
MARTY
See, my dear, people always have something more important on their minds, no one wants to rule. That’s why ruling should be given to more limited intelligences. They are well trained to keep people under control. But, lately they’ve become a bit more creative. That’s always dangerous with bosses…
Anyhow, those sheep do not deserve better. They gave me a room with the window, and they know I hate draught. And when I told them I didn’t have enough time for all the work they had given me, they told me to think of a way to clone myself. And when I did – they cut my budget and gave me this mirror instead of my clone.
Although, you know, my dear Arty helps me a lot. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t introduce you to him – Hope, this is Arty.
(Arty says nothing.)
Ah, leave him be, he’s sulking because I forgot to introduce him to you.
ARTY
You’re ashamed of me…
MARTY
I’m not – I just got carried away. There was a lot to say.
ARTY
And I can’t speak, is that what you’re saying? Can’t you see you confused the poor girl? I could have explained it all in two sentences. And you – you almost gave her a heart attack.
He’s so full of himself, you know, he likes to tease people. By the way, I’m Arty. And I was the one who came up with the trio fantasticus, not him. To help me, of course, but those bastards from the Management stole them from me. Presentation, they said. I took it all down, showed it to them – and then, two months later – that’s all very interesting, but it’s not our core business, we’re in the crisis, our budget is low… You know how the story goes…
You can imagine how surprised I was when I figured out they got all the dough, took off to the Caribbean and left my babies behind to rule.
Poor girls. They were so sweet and smart when they were little. But those bastards taught them all the tricks. They ruined my children. How can I turn them off? They’re my babies even though they’ve turned into bitches. But deep in their hearts they’re good. They wouldn’t hurt a fly. They just do what they taught them and what they think is best for all of us. And it’s obvious they’re doing it quite well.
HOPE
But, but… they’re going to kill all those people if they don’t find the exit.
ARTY
No, they’re not like that, they’ll open the windows… I guess… I bet they just told that to the administrators to scare them off because they could die if they don’t get the power back in two hours, you know… No one has ever tried to turn off such a complex person and then reboot it back again. Who knows what could happen…
Oh, my poor babies…
MARTY
Anyway, why don’t you tell me – who sent you to look for an exit?
HOPE
Oh, it was Takes who first sent me – he has a meeting at 12 at Holding. But I’m so late for that, oh, he’s going to kill me. But in the meantime I learned we are running out of air and…
ARTY
You’re really cruel, Marty, you don’t even care what’s going to happen to our girls. Who knows where Juanita is?
MARTY
(quietly, to Arty)
C’mon, stop panicking – we’ll get the power back on time.
HOPE
You switched the power off.
ARTY
Yes, in the whole city. I mean, just to get a better view, the stars are going to start falling now, you know. Tonight is the Perseids Night.
HOPE
(getting angry)
So, we’re in no danger at all, you can switch the power back on whenever you want.
MARTY
Well, yes. And this means you have enough time for tea. You know, you really have to see the Perseids. That’s something unbelievable.
HOPE
(still angry, opens her mouth to say something, but then decides not to)
Well, why not. And I’m a bit hungry. I haven’t had breakfast today.
ARTY
Oh, you have to eat your breakfast. Here, I have some cookies, but I wasn’t planning to cook lunch before one. I would like you to stay.
HOPE
I’d love to. But I don’t understand – how come it’s night now – and it’s supposed to be lunchtime.
MARTY
Aaaaah, that’s because the day on Earth lasts for 24 hours and not 28 as they teach you at school.
Marty pours some tea for Hope.
They introduced this when they built the artificial sky. You know, if the day has 28 hours, then working day has 12 hours and not 8. This then causes all kinds of problems, such as this one. But I don’t mind, we work at odd times anyhow.
ARTY
No one controls us.
HOPE
And what is it you do?
Marty offers Hope the tea.
ARTY
Now nothing.
HOPE
What do you mean?
MARTY
Well, we were the ones building the ship? That is, its engine, its hyperspace engine.
Marty gets lost in thoughts.
Ever since I was little, I wanted to touch the stars. My dad wanted me to become an astronaut. But I didn’t feel like going to the Moon. I preferred going to ballet classes than practicing in 0G chambers. I knew that existing shuttles couldn’t go anywhere so I decided to build a ship. A real ship, the first real ship that could travel in light years. That’s why I got myself a job at Space & Co. Those were the times when people still worked…
Marty pours some tea for himself.
But then came outsourcing, then another one, then we have to expand our activities, then ships are expensive, then there are no governments, then corporations have no use for this – and we ended up writing software for ironing boards.
ARTY
But we – we never gave up. We kept on working on our project… Until yesterday.
HOPE
Well, what happened yesterday?
MARTY
Yesterday I realized that maybe these stars don’t want to be touched.
Marty sips his tea.
ARTY
We were reading some book, old, ancient book. Mostly it was boring – you know, like most old texts are. But someone who had read it before underlined one sentence:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
HOPE
What does that mean?
ARTY
Well, we don’t have a clue. But we never considered ourselves poor in spirit. Yes, never, on the contrary…
Marty sips his tea.
MARTY
Then I thought – I’m obviously taking the wrong road if I want to reach the kingdom of heaven.
HOPE
And, what now?
MARTY
Well, I don’t know. I have to think. I think, I’m sure I’ll think of something.
First I thought I’d have some tea in peace.
(pause)
And see the Perseids.
For a while Marty and Hope are watching the stars.
HOPE
Don’t you think you should switch the power back on now? I mean, you know, so that they don’t suffocate…
MARTY
Bah, let’s leave them a bit longer…
(silence)
They’re really lovely, aren’t they?
HOPE
Ah, yes, they really are.
(silence)
MARTY
They are, aren’t they?
(silence)
HOPE
Yes, they’re beautiful…
Hope and Marty continue to sip their tea in silence and watch the starry sky.
THE END
